Labels

ACR (1) acupuncture (1) adoption (30) Adoption; RAD; emotions; tantrum (1) adoptive families (4) Amazing people (2) anger (6) Anxiety (1) appointments (1) Attachment (4) Attachment therapy (1) babies (1) banging my head (8) Bed wetting (1) beds (3) bedwetting (3) behavior (25) bio families (2) bio parents (26) biological parents (5) Biological parents; adoption (3) Biological parents; adoption; co parenting (1) Bioparents (1) birth families (21) birth moms (1) birth parents (5) birthdays (3) blogging (5) Boundaries (4) CASA (1) caseworker (9) challenges (4) change (2) Changes (2) co-parenting (16) confessions (15) Consequences (2) Court (20) crafts (1) CW Visit (5) DCFS (9) decisions (3) diary (1) dicipline (1) drama queen (2) emotions (130) Fab Four (14) Fab Four: Post Reunification (2) faith (10) family (12) Family fun (9) family outings (7) family support (15) family therapy (4) feelings (7) fertility (2) flowers (1) food (1) foster care (25) foster parenting (83) Foster parenting; permanency (3) fun (1) Gabby (4) grief (9) healing (5) Holiday (8) Holidays (5) Homework (1) honesty (1) Hubby (2) husbands (3) If I'm being honest (5) illness (1) investigation (1) Jelly Bean (4) laughter (1) legal issues (4) licensing (2) Little Mama (2) loss (5) love (8) lying (1) marriage (1) meetings (1) meltdown (1) Mental Health (3) migraine (1) milestones (1) Mommy Humor (5) mother (1) motherhood (46) Movie review (1) Mr. Mohawk (7) music (2) names (2) Neglect (1) neurosarcoidosis (6) Nostalgia (1) nothing to do with foster care (8) Open adoption (2) organization (1) other people's reactions (7) Overnight visits (2) parenting (12) permanency (10) perspective (6) photolistings (1) photos (2) pictures (5) placement (1) Placements (23) Post Reunification (26) Post visit behavior (2) Post-reunification (5) PRIDE (1) progress (1) PTSD (5) puberty (1) Quartet (3) Questions (1) RAD (5) relationships (6) return home (1) reunification (11) safe haven (1) Sarah (3) sarcasm (1) school (10) Sexual abuse (4) shopping (2) sibling (1) siblings (5) Simon (6) sleep (1) Smiley (1) Social Media (2) Solana (5) Stella (1) stress (9) Suicide (1) support (5) tantrums (3) Team Work (1) Teamwork (5) Thank You (1) The Quartet (1) The System (2) Therapeutic parenting (2) therapy (19) TPR (7) training (1) Transition (10) transition plan (10) trauma (9) triggers (4) typical kids (1) Urine (1) verbal abuse (1) Visit behavior (3) visits (38) waiting (2) where to start (3)

Tuesday, May 29, 2012

Strangers

My brother and sister-in-law's friends are with us for a few days of our trip. They are super laid back and very sweet. I was worried that our crazies would ruin their trip. So far we've been able to avoid the majority of the crazies by 1)feeding the kids often 2) saying yes to things we normally say no to (like Coke instead of Sprite- not having to eat everything in order to have dessert) 3) dividing and conquering (the kids have pretty much been separated by at least two adults between them at all times 4) lots of hand holding 5) extra observant parenting.

The kids have latched on to these new people though. Wanting to sit next to them, ride with them, asking them questions. And of course the super sweet people they are they are allowing the kids those requests.

But Jelly Bean is starting to push the limits. Trying to see if she can get me irritated in front of the new people. Testing to make sure those boundaries we have set for her are still in place. And because she is adorable and funny and sweet when I make the tone in my voice mean business and the friends look at me like I'm way too serious about silly things like sweatshirts and where she is sitting at a table I start to question myself. Am I too harsh? Should I ease up? Let it go?

And then I remember - attachment. She's fantastic at getting others to do things for her because her parents did not. But I'm a safe protective parent and I can't let the boundaries lax. For her I have to be serious in front of others.

And I'll have to do it without explaining to these kind people the horrific things people have done to this little girl. That's my job. Meanest Mom on the planet...

1 comment:

  1. just letting you know that you have competition for the meanest mom of the planet title!!!

    ReplyDelete