How Foster Care Has Changed Me

On January 21, 2011 I was grieving.  I was driving on what would have been my Grandmother's 74th birthday to her brother's funeral.  I was walking around in the world going "what the hell?" when we got the call to become Foster Parents. 17 months ago I was a completely different person.  I had NO idea what I was getting into or the impact it would have on my life.  I have been changed in ways that I never expected.  Here are some things I feel are positives:

1. It takes a lot more to gross me out these days.  I have 4 kids. At some point everyday I am wiping, catching, or cleaning bodily fluids up. Blood, Boogers, Tears and Pee.  Lots and lots of pee. 
2. I am more laid back.  My husband might argue this point but I think having kids has made me more laid back.  Whatever is more likely to come out of my mouth.  I'm more flexible than I used to be and I try to take a step back now a days.  This is in large part to parenting traumatized kids since you basically take every standard parenting technique and throw it out the window and it take a laid back attitude to be able to roll that way.
3. I no longer get spazzed out when people come into out home about things being spotless.  I've learned that our house will NEVER be spotless again.  I have 4 kids, a 60 lbs. dog and a husband.  You'll be lucky if you find toilet paper in the guest bathroom.  I have a rotation of people coming in and out.  We are a family and we live here and you are going to see a real house. 
4. I'm more compassionate.  I have way more compassion, passions, and understanding for people who have had trauma and poor circumstances in their lives. 
5. I'm more organized. I color coded my kids. Everyone has a cubby for their shoes. "Nuff said.
6. I laugh more. I genuinely enjoy being with my kids because they are fun, interesting people.  I allow myself more room to be silly.
7. I'm a better cook.  I have to cook for 6 people and all of their likes and dislikes. I've found things that the family loves to eat and I don't often get complaints.
8. I am stronger. I have picked myself up when I didn't think I had anymore fight in me because my kids needed me to.  I always want them to look back on this time in their lives and think "Wow. Mom really did do everything she could for us.
9. I have more tolerance for kids.  Ok when you stop laughing, I'm serious.  No longer am I throwing dirty looks at the people in the burger restaurant for their unruly children.  I now understand that they probably went out because its hard to cook every night for a family and not want a break sometimes.
10. I've learned to say no. And I'm good at it. I've learned to recognize that I can't do it all for everyone all the time.  I've learned to set limits and boundaries and I'm good at sticking to them.