Skip to main content

Posts

Showing posts from June, 2014

Final Four?

Last weekend marks the 4 year anniversary of our foster care journey. We still aren't close to adopting but we are at least participating in a case where it's likely to end that way. My Mom dubbed the Quartet, "The Final Four" last week but I can't be that optimistic. I feel like the moment I do, the rug will be pulled from underneath me.
Our system is so broken. I want to believe in it. But even with the Quartet, their family has been in and out of foster care for 11 years. How does that happen? And even now, we are still talking hypothetically about a goal change to termination in three more months. Stella will be almost 10 then. Sarah will be 8. And they switched DCFS offices and we've been out of the new office for 2 months and we are already on a 2nd case worker. Who I, of course, have not yet met or been given information to. All I know is she is bi-lingual and fresh off her internship. 
4 years of learning about this and I'm pretty skeptical that a f…

Dear Mr. Mohawk

Dear MM,
Today you are 7. Happy, Happy Birthday. I can't believe how quickly the time has gone. I remember the year you turned 4 Jelly Bean insisted we have a birthday party for you because you came into foster care right after you turned 3. You probably don't remember the moon bounce or the presents. But I do. And your "Mom" before me was there with your former foster siblings. 
I know you don't think of me as "Mom" now. You call me by my first name until your sisters correct you. It's fine with me. You should not have to remember the time you were away from your mother. You should only remember you were loved every day, always. I realize as time goes by, you will forget more and more of your time with us. I keep it in my heart. Ready to share it with you whenever you ask. I'm sure someday you will.
You are turning into a handsome young man. Full of energy and fun. And I love your smile! I'm so glad to be a witness to your life. You have grown…

Court

We had court last week. It was just a status hearing but the psych eval on Sheila and trauma assessments on the children were being admitted to the record. Sheila almost no showed again. If we had started on time she would have missed the hearing entirely. As it was, we started 45 minutes late and she was 5 minutes later than that, so she walked in before too much information was shared. 
The take away was that Bio Mom's prognosis is poor. According to the report, it is unlikely that she will be able to protect her children or stop being a victim of domestic violence and the recommendation was termination of parental rights. The judge once again said that there was no progress being made. 
Thankfully, the judge took the most important piece of the kids' trauma assessments and commented that they need permanency very soon. She said that it was clear from the reports that if a permanent solution is not found soon, the children will suffer further trauma and that isn't in their…

1/2 Marathon Complete, Now What?

Two weekends ago I ran a 1/2 marathon. We'll okay. I ran the first 8 miles of it. The last 5 were more walking fast. 13.1 miles is a long way. I set the goal in January as an outlet. A goal for me to have control over. Something noone else could dictate to me. We had so much of that last year and are starting to see it again with this case. (Evidenced by the email I got one Friday morning to "please make the children available for this appointment on Monday at 6PM".). 
It was a beautiful day for a race. The weather was perfect. The only drawback was it was in Bio Mom's town. I spent a lot more of the nearly four hours thinking about our journey and trying to keep her out of my head than I planned. I couldn't help but wonder where she was in relationship to me as I ran through the town.
I thought about the Fab Four and the Quartet. About all of the things we've overcome. I thought about the heartache and how my physical pain while training never came close to fe…

Permanency

Foster Care Land was a major thorn in my side this week. I had two last minute appointments that I really didn't have time for this week.
They were important meetings and needed to occur. Of course everyone is trying to cram everything in this week so that it gets into the report for court in two weeks. 
The first appointment were with the therapists, GAL, and new case worker to go over the trauma assessment for Stella and Sarah. For two hours we listened about the importance for permanency for these girls. We have official diagnoses of PTSD, Sever Depression, Anxiety, and potential ADHD. There are some major concerns for sexual abuse by a family member and we are right on the edge of Reactive Attachment Disorder. The kids have no connection to their Mom and dissociate when asked directly about her. They have not talked about her spontaneously and won't discuss visits.
It was hard to hear. Not because I'm worried about the work we have to do (although I probably should be). I…

14 Kids on Vacation, Sure Why Not?

I.am.exhausted. We just got home from a weekend at the Waterpark resort with The Quartet, The Fab Four, and Simon and Smiley's former foster Mom who has 6 kids currently. 14 current or former foster children, ages 1-13. (Maria had to work.)
It was a great weekend. Pretty amazing when you think about how foster care normally works. Here were all these kids with former connections to other adults and kids who got to be all together again.    And the best part was they mostly got along. Mr. Mohawk and Simon looked like twins in their water wings battling the waves. Sarah and Jelly Bean were, of course, partners in crime. Stella and Gabby became pals and Smiley hung on Little Mama's every word. The big kids helped the littles and everyone survived.
Although, one of the kids (not with me) did let themselves out of the hotel room at 2 am and went missing for a few moments. Luckily, a security guard found the child (who was knocking on doors asking for food), and Hubby happened to hear…