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Showing posts from October, 2012

How do you do it?

Cherub Mama recently posted about juggling a crazy schedule when both foster parents are working after a reader posed the question to her. I was honored to be included in a list of bloggers to check out.

The reader asked "Can it be done?" The simplest answer is yes. Yes, it can be done. It is done every day.  But I think what she was really getting at was how can it be done? How with a full work schedule and all the responsibilities of adulthood and the responsibilities of a relationship could we fit in children, doctors, caseworkers, licensing workers, family visits, sibling visits, school, etc. Its a great question and one I get asked constantly. (I'm not going to touch on therapeutic needs or disability in this post.  That's another piece of the puzzle left for a different day.)

I get asked the question "How do you do it?" every time someone finds out I'm a foster parent. Then I get the shock when they find out both Hubby and I work full time (and l…


- I am even more convinced after the last week that I do not need a piece of paper to tell me that these kids are mine.
- This does not mean I won't fight for them or their permanency.
- I spent the better part of the day hanging out with my family. Lounging in pjs, napping and watching movies together. The snuggles were unbelievable.
- We had a blast at a "old Hollywood glamour" wedding yesterday. The kids wore pill box hats, fedoras, and I got to wear a wool hat that belonged to my great grandmother. It was awesome.
- More nonsense happened at the visit this week. I really am tired of being the tattle tale. But alleged bio Dad showing up at the home during and unsupervised visit is somewhat shady.
- The kids spun out of control at family therapy while we were gone. I don't think bio Mom knew what to do.
- I am looking forward to a long weekend away from the kids in a few weeks.
- Someone told me this morning that they were shocked to learn we were not a family …

3 More Days

• Bio Mom went back on permission to LM about being in an activity at school where she was going to miss the next 4 Friday 2 Hour visits. She claims LM never talked to her about it.
• LM took her turn to cry tonight. We ended up video conferencing with her.
• When we hung up hubby says to me "I love that LM kid. When she smiles it just makes me so happy." I melted.
•JB had a great conversation with me. (She refused to talk to Dad). She was able to tell me very clearly that she missed us and used great feeling words including jealous, scared, worried and sad. She told me one reason she wanted me to come home early was that we are going to miss her school concert. I told I ordered the DVD. That made her feel better. It was a great conversation and I told her so.
• Gabby was short with me and sassy/sarcastic with Hubby. I'm worried that she'll be ticked off when we get home and take it out on us when we return.
•Mr. Mohawk got another red card. I'm not sure what we…


Sorry for the break everyone. The last few weeks have been a little crazy at work and at home. And now hubby and I are on vacation sans kids so I'm taking a little break from therapeutic parenting. Well mostly.

Being away after some drama that happened with the kids Mom has really stirred up the fear. Day calls from Jelly Bean telling us she wants us to come home today have been heartbreaking and amusing. This is after all, the child who routinely leaves hate mail on my doorstep.

I was giving tapping instructions and deep breathing walking into the fireworks in Disney World.... It doesn't end.....

My Little Brother

Yesterday was a no good, very bad day- that ended a no good, very bad week. It started with Jelly Bean deciding that the outfit she had on was not acceptable to wear so she changed. While everyone else was getting in the car- thus making everyone wait for her. I know it is about control but I swear that this kid is going to end up with exactly 5 shirts and 5 pairs of pants in her dresser. Hubby was not happy when he came back in the house to find her changing at the pace of a snail.

This led to a phone conversation between he and I that started to aggravate me simply because we were going over all the nonsense that happened this week. From sleepless nights to 200 ft of toilet paper pulled off the rolls at school resulting in the 3rd week in a row of Wednesday phone calls from the principal.

Then I arrived at work where upon everyone decided to blatantly ignore direction and pester me about deadlines and cause me so much stress and irritation I ended up in tears - twice.

So after leav…

My Addiction to TLC

I LOVE The cable channel TLC. I've been watching for years and a good chunk of our DVR is set to programs on TLC. We as a family watch "The Cake Boss" and "Long Island Medium" religiously. I'm fascinated by families and how they operate. We loved Jon and Kate and their 8 and were sad to see them go off the rails. (And now as a parent of 4 I understand the stress a tad bit better.) we're rooting for "the Little Couple" as they realize their dream of becoming parents. I was especially interested when the show highlighted special needs international adoption. TLC- if you ever want to come to my house and document the reality of foster care and foster parenting I'm game! (Especially if it means college for 4 kids could somehow be paid for because as of right now I got nothing....)

I digress....

So in feeding into my TLC addiction I looked into the Long Island Medium touring. I saw The Cake Boss live and loved it so when I heard Theresa Caputo …

Parenting Tips From Foster Mom R

1) CSI is not appropriate tv for the under 12 set. Even less appropriate is watching it with your child. Most inappropriate is leaving it on and walking out of the room while a victim's rape and dismemberment are discussed while your sexually abused child is still sitting there watching.
2) Real glassware should be put out of reach of the child throwing said glasses after the 1st and 2nd glasses are smashed on the ground. This will prevent the 3rd glass from being broken.
3) it is wise to take the advice of the professionals and keep your mouth shut about impending change. This will allow your children to sleep better and perhaps cause less drama at your visits.
4) Donuts for breakfast when you plan to let 6 children stay inside and watch TV all day is perhaps a poor choice.

Please start sending me the cases of Diet Coke now. I have a lot of nights of interrupted sleep coming at me.


We have some family functions coming up in the next month or two that require the kids to miss their regularly scheduled visits. So we have 2 make-up visits this weekend in addition to their regular Saturday visit.

And in a change of events- I actually PUSHED for these to occur the same weekend. Close together. They will have 5 hours today, 5 hours Saturday, and something like 8/9 hours Monday.

And I just got a message that the case worker is off until Wednesday. Ha!

I'm prepared for some crazy behavior over the next week. This will be the most visitation she's ever had. The kids will be totally off their normal routine. And there will be no therapists to help process.


I wrote the above Friday but it didn't publish. I'm waiting for the kids to leave. They are going to plant trees today. No doubt part of Moms community service requirement for her probation. Not sure how I feel about bringing the kids you beat to working off your debt to society. Oh who a…

Some More things I'd Love to Say

- I know that your Mom told you you were going home in six months but she's said that before. Several times over the last 2 years, in fact. So I wouldn't worry too much. She's also got to get a job and a house and it's hard to pay for a house when you don't have a job. And since you Mom has no skills and is here illegally it's not likely she will find one.
- Oh really? Your Mom promised you BOTH cell phones? Are they the fake kind because real ones cost money and she was unable to call from the hospital because she could no longer pay for hers.