Feeling Slightly Steadier

The meeting with the caseworker and her new supervisor wasn't that productive although I did vent quite a bit. Hopefully, she'll get it and I don't have to keep beating the dead horse. She tried to fall on the sword and say that she was slowing this down due to the departmental changes.  Sorry sweetie. Not going to work. This has been going on for 2 years.

We did get out of them the following:

• The first overnight will happen. Then they will have family therapy and then have another overnight visit the next weekend.
• Typically from the 1st overnight visit they look at moving them home in 60-90 days.
• We are to receive a plan for how often the caseworker shall be touching base.
• They are not inclined to try to find another foster home so if we can't finish teh transition they would likely move the kids home sooner provided the judge allowed.

She also tried to tell us that this is normal for fosterparents to feel frustrated because its painful and you are grieving.  Which I get but when you have no idea what is supposed to happen after next week and the kids are totally out of whack it doesn't really help to hear that. "Oftern foster parents find its too hard and so they ask us to speed up the process". You live week by week lady with 4 bickering screaming children and tell me what you'd be asking other people to do.

Grrr.

Then the CASA worker came over and she tried to talk us off the ledge too. Put things in perspective. Which was nice of her. But she also gets to see the big picture and so its easier for her to put all the pieces together and feel better about it.  In any event, our request for communication and a plan will be well documented.

So best case scenario the kids will return home right after their break,  Which makes this a little easier to deal with. Which makes me feel bother better and stronger. More equipped.

But man, it still hurts like hell.

Overnight Visits

Oh my. Was I heated at midnight last night. I saw the email the caseworker sent about her plan for overnight visits. Can you guys when she thinks is the optimal time to start them?

Yep. The Sunday leading into Christmas Eve. It's the holiday after all and the children should spend some time with their Mom. She knows we might have plans on Christmas Eve so she can have the service drop them off wherever we will be at. Then she asked me for my thoughts.

My response back was not kind. It was not calm. And at this point I don't care. The idea that they want to rush this and not have a solid plan in place makes me so angry and the fact that she didn't consider how anxious the holiday makes the kids anyway and then wants to add the stress of the first overnight to it mystifies me.

But have no fear- we'll drop them off in whatever condition they might be in at your family function? What about behavior? What about their response. What if Mom totally fails and it ruins Christmas? Where is their chance to decompress after that? What about the judge's request to take it slow an plan this out while listening to the kids? How do you go from 5 hour visits with the kids still having issues and fear to 24 hour visits on a major holiday that stresses most adults out to begin with.

Just further confirmation that this person truly does not look at it from the kids perspective. She honestly had a meeting and though: wouldn't it be great for them to wake up and spend Christmas Eve with their Mom who they haven't lived with in 2 1/2 years. I bet that will just make their day. I bet everything will go perfect and we will be able to move them home soon.

I told her if they wanted to plan a regular visit Christmas Eve that that was fine and that I felt it was appropriate. But the rest of my email used words like horrific, terrible, shocked, and set up for failure.