Skip to main content


Showing posts from October, 2015

Adoption Coordinator

We met with the Adoption Coordinator that was assigned to our case. Caseworker #4 and CASA were also there. I was pretty frustrated by the end of the meeting because some of this process seems very inefficient to me. The entire meeting could have been handled with a brief phone call and paperwork in the mail. Why she had to wait nearly a month to meet with us is beyond me. 
I was hoping to hear- you guys have been waiting so long and we dropped the ball so we are going to do everything we can to expedite this process. Instead I heard- I have no idea why it took so long but this could take 6 months because there is a lot of paperwork and there are four kids. 
Then the taxpayer in me got frustrated because part of the process is to hire ANOTHER GAL to write a report in support of the adoption. Um they have one. She is sitting next to you. The best interest hearing resulted in a judgement that adoption by the foster parents is in their best interest. Why on Earth do we need yet ANOTHER per…

Viral Videos

One of my friends shared a video to their Facebook timeline today that was recorded by a parent while she was being investigated by Indiana CPS. 
Apparently CPS sent a male investigator out in response to a hotline call made after the parent "whooped" her 10 year old daughter in front of the police officers who brought home from school after she was expelled. 
The parent is clearly upset. The entire 13 minutes she is ranting at the CPS investigator and the 2 additional female workers who show up to examine her daughter after she requested a female.
She goes on to tell us that she is aware that she can't leave a mark due to a previous case is slapping her child in the face because she beat up her brother. We find out that her son is also not doing well at school. Meanwhile, she blames societies' problems (specifically children murdering each other) and a lack of respect for authority on the fact that she is "not allowed to beat their ass" because they can call …

$100,000 Worth of Sick?

I've been wrestling with where to put this blog post. Here, my anonymous blog aimed at foster care and adoption or my public one aimed at my health. For two reasons I've decided here. 1) This one has more readers. 2) I think that ultimately it falls under the fertility issue and reason we went into foster care.
I have a chronic illness. An immune disorder called Sarcoidosis. Sarcoidosis can affect any organ and there is no known cause and no known cure. There are treatments that can make the disease go into remission but I will always have it. For some people it flares up over and over. This is true for me. Most people get it in their lungs-which I have had. Other people get it in their eyes, skin, liver, and heart. About 10% get it in their brain. I'm the lucky 10%. 
Sarcoidosis causes granulomas (hard cells) that, over time, can cause scarring. My sarcoid or Neurosarcoid (since its in my brain) is on the trigeminal nerve. It's a bad place to have it since that's th…

More Time

We are on a family vacation this week and Stella was watching Hubby running around and being silly with Smiley. At 10 1/2 she feels too old to do that kind of thing. Stella and my Mom were having a conversation and my Mom said something to the effect of "you were meant to be a part of this family".

Stella replied:
"I know Grandma, I just wish I had come to you when I was younger so that I could have more memories with you."
So powerful are her words. How safe and attached she feels. The longing to have more of our family. The sense of belonging and identity. Some powerful emotions being shared easily. 
The loss and regret. And my own feelings from a few days ago reflected by my daughter. 

Listening Circle, My Foot

I received an email yesterday (10/9) with an invitation to "join the rapid response team to give valuable feedback" about how better to serve Foster Parents. The "listening circles" as they are being called are scheduled for 10/14 from 9-11 or 11-2.
I shot back an email to the person who sent me the invite- "it would be great if there were times when working foster parents could attend."
Seriously, on top of all the time off I have had to take off for court and ACRs not to mention umm mothering 4 kids who could easily eat up a week of vacation because the share all their germs with each I'm supposed to take a 1/2 day to participate in "a listening circle" with 5 days notice? Seriously who has all this free time? And I need like 2 weeks notice for meetings like this- I need to dig my sit-upon I wove in girls scouts out of storage.
 I desperately want to give feed back but this is just silly. Makes me think this is one of those - we …

Right before the deadline...

You know how when a court date is coming up and a bio parent does aome stuff to make it look like they are working their plan but they really only did the stuff so that they can point and say "I'm making progress! I did x! (Because there is no y or Z. Let's be real.)
Well the Department did that to me this week. We had our Administrative Case Review or ACR which is where a 3rd person looks at the case plan and rates the progress on each action item as satisfactory or unsatisfactory. They happen every 6 months and at our last one the reviewer was like why don't you have an adoption worker yet should have been assigned 6 months ago ( I'll do the math for you- that's 12 months from today).
I've been blabbering on about no adoption case worker for a while. Everyone was like- I know? So slow. Shrugged their shoulders and promised to follow up. I believe they did follow up because following up means no more blabbering on from me....
So we had the ACR and just as I&…


My Mom took Stella and Smiley shopping for pants yesterday. They came home with some cute things and as my Mom laid the items out in the couch to show me, I was struck with an unbelievable sadness and yearning.
The jeans looked so big.
A reminder that the kids grow a little more every day and I feel like I missed so much of Stella's childhood. I feel like she missed her own childhood and I started to cry. She is going to be 11 soon and I just feel like we got short changed.

Forgive Me, My Face Hurts

I have not written as frequently as 1) there isn't as much foster care/adoption related stuff to report 2) the kids are doing pretty good (shsssh don't tell the Universe that because then it will come back and bite me) 3) my face hurts.
My autoimmune issue has flared up with a vengance in recent weeks and my latest symptoms go beyond the nerve head pain and have spread to my face. My whole left side of my face feels like I've got really bad sunburn. My hair brushed my cheek today and I almost cried. The neurologist prescribed some medication but it's the kind that makes you incredibly drowsy. It's also a mood stabilizer so maybe not all bad....
I can barely keep my eyes open at times and have gone to bed at 9:30pm this week which is VERY unusual for me. I'm hoping my body will get used to this medicine but my online research tells me most people experience this level of tiredness for 6 weeks or more. 
The kids have been really great. Tonight there was a social eve…