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Saturday, May 12, 2012

Co-Parenting

So we went to the doctor's appointment.  Gabby, Jelly Bean, Me and their Mom.  And boy did I mess up. I had the wrong appointment time and the doctor had left.  Luckily they could see us next weekend but that messed up some other plans.

At least she saw that I'm not perfect, that was Hubby's take.  (It's the first time I've missed an appointment like this but still....) So I apologized and then decided we could go get a meal together.  We talked. In both Spanish and in English.  She told me she's going to be taking an ESL class. I told her she was off to a great start. I fumbled with my words.  She complimented my ability to write in Spanish.  The kids called us both Mom.  We understood. 

I was not nearly as nervous as I though I would be.  It seemed fine.  Maybe I softened a bit?  Maybe this can work?  Maybe we can become a family?  Ordering our meal I realized how hard it must be to not be able to read a menu.  And while she commented on how in the 6 months she lived in another state she was unable to get a medical card or food stamps for the kids I realized how vast the difference in our lives really is.

We both tried and that's what counts.  There was only one moment that was uncomfortable and it was when Jelly Bean said how fun it would be for her Mom to come to Disney World with us.  There was a pause and I could see the hurt in her face.  I know its a sore subject.  She said so at the meeting.  I said that maybe someday that would be possible. 

I saw a happier woman in front of me.  That made me glad.  She let me in some and I let her in some.  I shared my illness and my depression.  She shared some more of the kid's birth stories and I know that made them happy.  It would have been a perfect afternoon except for the steely silence I got from Little Mama when I got home.  And my fantasy that this will be a smooth, easy transition to co-parenting shattered.

New meaning to one day at a time....

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