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Showing posts from August, 2011

I have several spectacular post ideas

But at the moment I'm spent. The last two weeks have been exhausting. And though I have at least three posts on school starting, being confronted about adopting them, family therapy and an in school suspension.... I.just.can't.

Because these children have sucked the spirit out of me and I have a big project due at 10 am Monday and I'm not done due to the antics of my weekend. Which means I need to be out the door at 6:30am and it is midnight on Sunday.

I need a miracle here. And some sleep. Ooh and a vacation. With a spa. And a beach. And a blue drink with an umbrella...somewhere where I don't have to talk to A.N.Y.O.N.E.
The last two weeks have been incredibly stressful. I have to admit I've cried on more than one occasion out of sheer frustration and because I was feeling beyond overwhelmed. Like this morning after I lost it in the car after JB punched LM before 7AM and my plan to get to work early went right out the window. I cried pretty much the entire 45 minute drive.

School starting brought out all kinds of changes in these kids. NONE of them good. My guess is that it was a tangible marker of time for them. They know they came into foster care BEFORE school started last year and school starting up again means an ENTIRE year has passed. My suspicion was confirmed last night when Gabby asked me at dinner how long they've been in foster care. At one point their Mom made a statement that she "only gets two years and then the state takes you" so their anxiety level has increased big time surrounding the length of time it is taking for them to return home. This uncertainty is drivi…

Who are these kids and why are they calling me Mom?

We took a day trip to one of those little tourist towns with lots of unique stores that are way over priced today. It was for Little Mama's birthday. We took a boat ride and walked in and out of these cute little art galleries and stores. I LOVE the shabby chic signs that are colorful and distressed and have inspirational sayings. So I was happy to stumble across this entire corner of these cute frames, art work, door hangers, and magnets. The first one I came across was "A girl can not possibly nice and organized." Which is so totally me. Then I saw a magnet that said "Who are these children and why are they calling me Mom" To which my response was to laugh out loud. Hysterically. For two full minutes. Unfortunately we have a stainless steel refrigerator so I didn't buy it. But I found it funny. And then I wandered into the baby section of the store and I got instantly sad. LM came by and asked why I was looking at the baby stuff. Because I have two friend…

My Daughter

This week there was shift in me. I know that I am a Foster Mom. These children living with me have no other connection than this. But THIS week I caught myself not clarifying for everyone that THESE are NOT MY children. Rather I let go for one week and just lived in the moment.

At the grocery store on Monday the well meaning cashier exclaimed:
C:Are all four yours?
M: Yep
C: They are so cute! I've always wanted to have a lot of kids.
M: It keeps life interesting.

On Tuesday when asked what I was doing later:
M: It's my daughter's birthday dinner.
O: Oh Wow how old is she?
M: 11.
O: Thats a good age.

On Wednesday at the State's Attorney's Office:
M: We will do whatever we can to make this guy accountable for what he did and we appreciate you trying to prevent unecessary trauma to our kids.

Today: I just simply missed them. And my heart broke when the little guy told me he missed his Really Mama. I cried on the phone to my Mom about how angry I am that these people have abuse…