Skip to main content


Showing posts from February, 2016


It's been a while since I wrote a post. I've been wrestling with emotions and am officially exhausted. I may have underestimated the toll mothering was taking on me. School and work haven't slowed and Solana is still not sleeping through the night consistently. I'm not sure it matters if it's 1 child or 5, I'm just plain worn out. 
The adoption is delayed because it seems the Department does not actually want kids to get out of the system with the proper supports and so we are fighting about therapy with the current therapist being included in the subsidy. The last meeting with the CASA and Caseworker #4 resulted in a pretty feisty Foster Mom R explaining that I don't want anyone to take the blame as CW#4 offered, I just want someone to take ownership and stop passing the buck. I'm done being nice or patient. I will get unpleasant if I have to. Which may be why no one wants to return my phone calls. 
Our last meeting with CW#4 revealed that Sheila is once…

This Mom

Throughout the past five years I've always talked about myself in the context of "this Mom". This Mom will always come get you. This Mom will make sure you eat dinner every night. This Mom means what she says.
Recently, in family therapy we went over some adoption books and discussed how we will refer to Sheila when talking about her. Our amazing therapist asked them how they know "this Mom" cares about them and loves them.
Smiley: She is kind. Simon: She makes us dinner. She gives us hugs. Stella: She tries really hard. Sarah: She never gives up.
I had tears in my eyes. My whole life I have wanted to be a Mom and the kind of Mom that sets an example for their kids. Their answers gave me confirmation that I'm accomplishing this. My kids see me setting an example of the types of lessons I want them to learn.
I want them to be kind. I want them to be good citizens of their communities. I want them to be affectionate. I want them to believe that they can overcome the…

In It For The Money

For whatever reason this concept of foster parenting for profit was on my mind tonight. I've never actually done the math to figure out how much "I make" as a foster parent. So I thought I'd calculate and share.

When the baby came to live with us we got an increase. Interestingly, infants have the smallest stipend as Illinois' rates are based on age. Our check for December was $2,225 for the 5 kids.

That equals about $72/day
$72/24 hours = $2.99/hour
$2.99/5 children=$0.60 an hour per child (rounded)

Our adoption attorney told us we probably could have qualified for a specialized (higher) rate for the kids when we were at the height of our issues (and certainly when the Fab Four lived with us).  I didn't even know such a thing existed. She told us it wasn't likely we would qualify now and it would delay the adoption considerably. So PSA - check and see if you have this available to you.

As I mentioned on Facebook the adoption has been delayed (surprise)…