Well hello there! It has been years since I've written and published a post and recently I've had the idea that maybe this year was the year to finally write the book everyone has been telling me I should write. And in an effort to brush off those skills, I thought a life update might be helpful.
Like many foster moms, the time for blogging got smaller and smaller as the kids got older. I also began to consider if what I was sharing in my posts was truly mine to share or if it was theirs. If you don't put it out there for public consumption, then you don't have to decide. The kids and I have had some pretty lengthy discussions about that. One day we hope to collaborate. For now, I'll tread carefully.
Little Mama had guardianship of Mr. Mohawk through this past summer. At that point, Maria had gotten out of the detention center and was able to have Mr. Mohawk live with her. He's a junior in high school and now towers over me! LM is working as a CNA. We see them most holidays and LM makes it a point to come hang out with me and Gabby. She is now 23 and has her own apartment. She's working on finding a better paying job so she can improve her circumstances.
Jelly Bean is married and living in Georgia. From what I understand, the circumstances aren't the best and she's struggling to find her way to a less chaotic life. As Gabby and LM mature, they have put in place some pretty strong boundaries where their biological family is concerned and that sometimes includes not allowing Jelly Bean to complain about chaos she creates.
I love having the Gabby, Little Mama, and Mr. Mohawk here. We've had such amazing conversations about their time in foster care. Probably my biggest take away is that while they don't often remember the details, the way they felt is always present. They will sometimes get upset about something and I'll point out that they used to feel that way when they lived with me, or they had a certain reaction to an event they don't recall and they are stunned. I've found this to be true of the Forever Four as well.
Ahh, the Forever Four....plus Solana.
Stella is a Freshman in college! She basically knocked her Senior year out of the park and earned a bunch of awards and honors. She's taking full advantage of the DCFS scholarship available to kids who were adopted or aged out of care and has had to take out zero loans for school. Here she is at her Senior Prom.
Sarah is now a Junior in high school. She's a talented flute player and has a part time job at one of her favorite restaurants. She's into make-up and fashion and will be starting a cosmetology program as part of her Senior year.
Simon is now a Sophomore in high school. He's also a talented musician, playing the trumpet and participating in Marching Band and Pep Band. He also has made some pretty awesome wood crafts in wood shop. His current dream is to own his own Food Truck.
Smiley is now a sullen teenager LOL. She still has a beautiful smile, its just hidden behind the hormones and annoyance. She's a Freshman in high school. She also participated in Marching Band and Pep Band and we are waiting to find out if she will join her siblings in Wind Symphony next year. Her mood still dictates how the day is going to go and watching her come out of her shell this year has been exciting. Here she is trying to win "Pink Day" at Band Camp.
And last but not least, Solana. Solana is now 8 and in 3rd Grade. I call her my shadow because she is never more than a few feet away. She's is super creative, constantly drawing, modeling clay, or building structures out of boxes, pillows and blankets. She is still living with me full time! She's on the right, at her 1st Holy Communion Party.
As I type this, I realize that the update on SD and Sheila is also way overdue. My relationships with them are in a really awesome and beautiful place, that has changed and grown over time. It is something that deserves its own post.
Probably the biggest change is that my marriage has ended and hubby and I are in the process of divorcing after being separated for 2 years. We were nesting for the first 18 months of that. Nesting means we were sharing a house to minimize the disruption to the kids. The kids stayed in the marital home and we purchased a townhouse nearby and traded off weeks, one parent being in the house with the kids and the other parent at the townhouse, switching weekly after family therapy.
We continued that arrangement until this past summer. I've struggled with how much to write about the reasons why that stopped. The most complete answer I feel I can give is that Hubby made a really bad choice, that lead to legal action and a protective order between him and one of the kids. The fall-out since the "incident" has been pretty continuous and effectively made me a single parent of 6 kids with fresh trauma. It's been a really hard road for all of us the past 8 months.
That's why everyone keeps telling me to write a book. Or maybe that's just something people say to a Mom handling one major life crisis/event after another?
I always thought I'd title my future book "Start with One" because that's what my Grandma said to me when I told her I was becoming a Foster Parent. But lately I've been toying with "And Then The Dog Died" because of course the emotional support puppy we adopted was going to have a fatal disease and we'd have to grieve him too....
So be on the look out for more posts. What do you want to hear about first? Drop a comment here or on Facebook and let me know!
