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Showing posts from December, 2015

So Long 2015

I have this quote on my desk at work and it sums up how I feel about heading into the new year. There are years that ask questions. 
This year we asked where will we live, what will the goal be, should we take the baby, no really should we take the baby, and what will happen with our jobs, why is my face on fire?
Not much in my life looks the same as it did a year ago. That's not a bad thing. But it did mean quite a lot of stress. But you know what?
We survived. We are stronger. We are together. And we have a bonus kiddo too! 
I think 2016 will be a year that answers questions. Or at least closes a few chapters. I say bring it on! We got this.

Zen...

I'm trying really hard to stay calm through the chaos that is: 1) Christmas 2) Christmas Break 3) Christmas Shopping 4) my busiest time at work when 1/3 of the things I worked on in a year are due back signed and everything is an exception and on fire 4) we added a baby 5) a move anniversary.
Oh and Hubby- he's doing a consulting gig for a company he hopes to get hired for and so he's getting paid hourly and can't take random time off. So I'm trying to stay calm with him also.
So last week when at 5:22pm he called and asked me to get the baby from her daycare instead of him, I agreed. Then I picked up the other four kiddos and we ran home to let the dog out. Hubby was still now anywhere close to being home, so I decided to take the kids to the store for the errand I had to run because I needed some addition teacher gifts for today. (This is the part where I kick myself for not going the night before after a work function, but I didn't want to deal with the larges…

Loss

I finished reading the kids' adoption subsidy packets and flipped over to Facebook to vent about it. In my feed was a post from a friend of mine that is going to the hospital tomorrow to have their baby who has a genetic disorder and will not survive very long after he is born. I'm so sad for their family. And it makes me even angrier that people are able to have multiple babies that they neglect and abuse. My Mama Bear is roaring under the surface. So wrong. So unfair. 
Will you say a prayer for my friends? Their entire family is about to go through a loss that many of us understand all to well. Pray they get supported through this and have space to talk/or not talk about the loss of their son.

What the Kids Understand

Smiley's teacher let me know that she told her "we adopted a baby but I don't know why" last week. So we sat down to talk about Solana's placement again and then the next day in family therapy.
I forget that the kids need to hear information over and over. So even though we explained the day she came why she was coming, they need us to repeat it. We also needed to correct some of their assumptions like: she's getting adopted, she's leaving soon, her arrival will slow down their adoption, she lived with Sheila.
We did explain that Solana is in foster care and that the judge in her case has made the goal return home to "Mommy" or Solana's Biological Dad. We did tell them that when Solana was in Sheila's tummy she made some choices that were unsafe like being in a relationship with someone who hit her and not doing her "homework" that the judge gave her so Solana never lived with "Mommy". We told them that Solana's Bio…

Family of 7

This year has been full of change. New house, new jobs, new names, new baby. And while I was worried that the baby would send us over the edge, (that I felt very close to tumbling over during the emotionally charged summer months) everything looks different now. Despite 5 kids and change still at work, there is some calm. There is peacefulness. There are happy kids and a sense of everything being as it should.
We didn't do stockings with names on them last year. To be honest, I did very little decorating because of the move. So I filled generic stockings with stuff for the kids and added a name tag. This year I decided it was going to be coordinating ones that were personalized. So I ordered some from Walmart.com and I was pleased that when they came they were actually from Personal Creations (which was twice the price). So the quality was great. (I'm overlooking the fact that they messed up the color of one.) they of course came the week before Solana arrived.

So when I hung th…

What's the longest river?

Answer: Denial.It's ok. You can chuckle. Forgive the slap happy humor of a Momma with 4 sick kiddos who is sick herself.
But denial is where Sheila is living. I sent Solana with her visit bag and the notebook today and she wrote nothing and sent nothing back. She made a bunch of noise to the driver/supervisor about her stuffy nose and how she wonders if we have pets because Sheila herself has pet allergies.
When the daycare relayed this message I actually laughed. Um her other kids have been talking about our dog for 2 years. She bought the dog treats previously. She knows we have a dog. It's not dog allergies, it a cold. A cold that 4 other people in the house have.
I shared this with Caseworker #4 and he was like, the previous home had dogs and there is nothing in her medical records that indicates she has allergies.
I'm not surprised by Sheila's lack of response to our reaching out to communicate. But it is still disappointing. You still want the Bio parents to show up …

Week 1

I announced our new addition on my personal Facebook Page yesterday and I may need someone to knock me down a few pegs because I'm being accused of being "amazing" and an "Angel" and it feels really uncomfortable... Just doing my job as a Mom and a person who has a passion for kids. And honestly, if you could see Solana's face, you would not have said no either.
We survived the weekend and our first few school/work/daycare day. She is sleeping between 4 and 6 hours and we have been able to stick to our routine pretty well.
There is a cold going around the family and I think Solana has caught it too. Simon, Stella and I all have it and Smiley thinks she might be getting sick also. Swear to God I walked into the daycare and 4 hours later my throat was sore....
So far no regressive behaviors. Simon and Smiley have been bickering but that's been happening. Sarah was stuck like glue to Solana and when I finally said to her "she'll be here tomorrow"…

And Then There Were Five

After the last 48/72 hours (my brain is fried and I have completely lost my ability to do math, which was pretty shakey before...) I feel like I officially earned my Foster Mom stripes. I got the call about 11:30am Thursday that she was coming that afternoon. I was a ball of nerves. My Mom dissolved into tears. Hubby had already made plans for that evening and since we were about to take on a 5th child I told him not to cancel. 
And it was Caseworker #4 who was handling all this, not #3 as I stated in my last post. So Caseworker #4 called and was like "So can you take her today? Foster Mom is not happy and I'm heading over there to remove her now."
He had paperwork to do and they had at least a 45 minute drive so I told him just to call when he was like 30 minutes away and I would leave work. At about 2 pm he said he would be at the house about 4:30pm.
Somehow I managed to finish a large chunk of my work. I had purposely worn a "career" outfit to help me feel like…

Phone Calls

Sometime early afternoon I got a call from Caseworker #3 calling to follow up on some adoption paperwork and my email about Stella's concerns over her sister, Solana. I tried to get information about the progress that was being made in that case to help us decide if introducing her would be beneficial or long term but he was like "it's too early" "can't really say". Boo. 
A few hours later he called back. "I have some news. It looks like the foster mom is giving her 14 day notice. It's not official yet but it's very likely to happen. So you are my 1st call. Will you take the baby?"
We've gone over and over this scenario and decision. All the reasons we said no before are still true. She could go home. She will have visits my kids won't. This is a foster care case and could be years before it goes to permanency. She's 4 months old and we have 4 kids.
But...
We don't have TPR looming. The adoption is under way. And the likeli…

Alphabet Soup

I was late. This is not unusual but I try very hard not to be late to pick up my kids because their experience is that Moms and Dads aren't reliable and sometimes don't come back. I was complaining to Hubby that is had a really hard day. I was anxious about all the new changes at work. I had a bad headache that was turning into a migraine and I was really tired. He told me I should bow out of therapy and escape to our room for the night and he would handle life. (I did that for him the day before as he was starting a new job today and he was feeling anxious.)
When I pulled up and saw the fire truck outside the building I knew it was going to be a rough night and there would be no break. I was right.
The fire alarm went off at daycare. The firefighters and police showed up. The kids were ushered to a safe place and there was no danger but that doesn't matter to the brain of a kid with PTSD. Nope. She was terrified. The minute I showed up I could tell she was still in dissocia…