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Wednesday, January 16, 2013

Can't Sleep

It's nearly 1 am and I just can't fall asleep. I even took some anti-anxiety medication to help me wind down. No luck...These days of crazy at work and then crazy at home leaves me so tired I can't sleep.

If I could charge per question I get asked I'd be a very rich woman! Between work, the kids, and Hubby with the questions, I'm wiped. Seriously, I tried to make dinner tonight and all I heard was Mom, Mom, Mom. I e would come in ask something's and then the next would try to interrupt.

Then the therapists arrived and the kids amped up. All of them shut down about the overnight this weekend. They are so anxious. And LM is really ticked that the emergency cell phone they are going to have will not have our phone number. Gabby flat out stated she won't call any of the numbers, including the police.

They have another family therapy session tomorrow. I guess last weeks was total chaos. Hopefully this week they will actually tell their Mom they are afraid she will become overwhelmed and hit them. And hopefully Mom will give an answer the kids can accept.

DCFS signed off on the transition plan. Thy actually said that while their plan was similar, they liked ours better and were going to use it. The therapists feel this will help is grieve since we got a say in the plan. And I guess that's true since we have some control but it still isn't what we want to be doing.

And really I don't want to grieve. I've been doing that for two years. I had a moment last night that really felt the same as when my Grandma died. The ache in my heart. I'm hoping that this will lessen as we get used to having them somewhere else.



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