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Monday, January 14, 2013

A Night Out On the Town

My parents took the kids Saturday night for what will likely be their last sleepover, since overnights with Bio Mom start next weekend. Hubby and I headed to Chicago for a mini-getaway. We celebrated a friend's birthday at a sushi fusion restaurant and then headed to another bar for a night of cocktails and conversion.  The birthday girl asked for two words to describe how we were feeling. Mine were relaxed and happy. And they couldn't have been truer. I was dressed up. I had on new heels and a fabulous dress that made me feel sexy and by some stroke of luck, I was able to apply faux eyelashes and make them stick for the evening. I had an afternoon of primping, a new haircut and color and a husband who voluntarily wore dress shoes. (Hubby is a T-shirt, jeans, sneakers kind of guy.)

It was the first time all week that I didn't feel like someone was going to come at me with another problem. From the moment I rose to the moment I fell asleep last week I was trouble shooting and triaging and man did it suck the life out of me. But there I was in this really nice restaurant with cool lighting and funky serving platters having grown up conversation.And you know what? If I'm going to have to give up motherhood for a while I want more of what I had Saturday night.

The drive into the city also gave Hubby and I a chance to talk about all that was going on. When we started this journey in July of 2010 we were not in a great place in our marriage. In fact, we were very close to calling it quits because we were so unhappy (like we need to go to marriage counseling because I can contest a divorce filing if we don't). But through this process of becoming parents (times 4 and to very challenging children) we somehow became stronger as a couple. The best part is that BOTH of us recognize this. And when Hubby verbalized this in the car, it felt great to hear. Our communication has improved tremendously. We realize that we really are in it for the long haul. And we've gotten to a place where both of us can recognize when the other needs to have some space and/or support. Our communication got 100% better. And so I know that as we head into the next chapter that we'll be ok. As long as we are in it together we'll be just fine.

I have to admit, I'm looking forward to some more time just the two of us.  We didn't appreciate that time together when we had it. We had no idea what we would feel like we missed out on. And we recognize that with the next placement or other children that we need to make that time a priority. With the overnights starting, we will have Friday nights free.  And we will be planning our next vacation just the two of us - which is a bit unusual but something both of us have said is important. 


1 comment:

  1. I think, a year into the process, my husband and I are finally realizing that we HAVE to take time for ourselves in order to be good parents. I think it's great that you will be able to rely on each other and look for the positive side during what can be a very difficult process.