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Wednesday, January 30, 2013

A State of Confusion

It's a good thing I sell Mary Kay products (well I used to...parenting my kids leaves little time for that anymore.) and can get skin care and anti-aging products at cost because the lines from this permanent look of puzzlement on my face are becoming deeper.

I got a call from caseworker this evening. She wanted to let me know that at family therapy Jelly Bean threw a fit because her little brother attended. She hit him, and hid under a table and then refused to come out or participate. Caseworker had all kinds of questions about her medication and if that could be the culprit and wondered if a hospitalization trial assessment was in order. But she said she calmed down enough to go to her visit.

The first question I asked was - How did Mom handle the behavior at the session?

The answer- "I didn't think to ask."

Apparently my suggestion that this was situational and a result of Mom's lack of structure and discipline was not appreciated. Nor was my reminder that a few weeks ago everyone wanted me to take her off the meds. And that blaming the medication was perhaps misguided given the changes the kid clearly isn't handling.

What are we doing here if we aren't asking ourselves the question- how did or can she handle? And sure let the parent who has handled be the one to set up the evaluation and psychiatrist appointment. (Which Mom got of this week because she wasn't "clear on the visit expectations".)

If you were so concerned then why did she proceed to the visit? And if we are so concerned then why isn't Mom participating in her mental health care? In 60 some days she will solely be responsible for these appointments. And if you didn't want my input then why did you ask me?

I didn't think to ask her.

Of course not. And not thinking is what has us all here the night before another status hearing 31 months later.

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