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Monday, September 3, 2012

A Little Help From My Friends

I started this journey two years ago. Ironically, just as my kids were beginning it. They came into care on 6/30/2010. I called the Illinois Center for Adoption on 7/1/2010. I wrote this post about the photolistings we were stalking reading. And here we all are, nearly 26 months later, living a life of answered prayers with kids who pretty much found me. And as questioning and hopeless as my last post was, I feel a heck of a lot stronger than I did at the beginning of this journey.  And while our life looks nothing like I pictured, (Where are all the sundrops and rainbows?) I wouldn't change it for anything.

I didn't get here by myself. I have a whole cast of people to thank for helping me along the way.  The funny part is that I have not met a S.I.N.G.L.E. one of them in person.  I care deeply for their families. They have made me laugh and cry and hope. They have made me a better wife, woman, and most of all mother. But none of them exist in my "real" life. They only exist in my computer. I have scoured their blogs and forum posts to absorb the wisdom that they have. I use their advice and remember how they have handled situations daily.

I spent some time today updating my blog.  I've added some blogs I read.  This is not a comprehensive list and I will continue to add (so please don't feel bad if you aren't up there yet).  I started with those blogs that have been the most influential in my foster parenting journey. Those who write often or who helped me the most at the beginning of my journey.  (Also if you'd prefer not to be linked please let me know and I will take you off the list.) Please visit these bloggers and support them. I owe them so much. A shout out was the least that I could do.

Happy Reading!

J's blog - Stellar Parenting was the first blog I read about adoption.  When I began reading, she was dealing with poop issues with her boys. Now she's added a third child, a much searched for daughter and I'm so excited for her. I've gained so much from her and use some of the discipline techniques she's blogged about.

Jen's blog over at A Nickle's Worth of Common Sense is all about her family which is made up of interracial adoption, biological children, and a guardianship. She's also battled cancer and is hilariously funny.  Her explanations and view points of adoption have helped me tremendously. While she doesn't write as often she's a fantastic resource.

Diana over at From Survival to Serenity connected me with some local Mom's who have adopted children with trauma.  She has had a hard road and still manages to make sure to help others.

I read Last Mom daily.  She's a talented writer and her Princess is so very much like my Jelly Bean that sometimes I think she has a portal into my living room.  Her ability to help her daughter heal has given me soo much hope. Go check her out and while you are at it send some colorful socks to help foster kids!

Rebecca at Fosterhood in NYC is single foster parent who is supporting a former placement post return home. Her commitment to co-parenting as much as she is allowed is inspiring.  Plus she's freaking funny!

 Cherub Mama is a great support. She's a frequent commenter on my blog even though she's had a hellish summer!  She's come out the other side of a false allegation and is a special needs foster Mom who has an even crazier court system than me.  She loves her kids and you can tell.

Jen over at Dreaming With A Broken Heart suffered the heartbreak of losing a child, adopted an older child, and is now expecting a child. Her writing is beautifully honest.

Sophie writes about her NINE children at Hope Love Acceptance.  Seriously, I don't know how she does it.  Her faith and love are amazing. She shares her heart whenever she can and she reminds me that I can too.

Mimi will crack you up! Go check her out at I Must be Trippin . Another great support of a post reunification family. She's writing a great "Foster Fridays" series with guest writers and everything. A great resource for all of us.

Lisa at Life In The Grateful House has seriously changed our life introducing us to tapping.  Videos, scripts, and help for anyone who would like to feel more calm and relaxed.

Mary the Mom Mayhem writes Muddling Through Mayhem . She adopted older children in addition to her biological children and has shared the realities of what that can mean for a family. Her honesty about mental health has helped me through some of the darkest days at my home.  She just posted a bunch of great reviews on books an techniques for parents. Trust me - you'll want to check this out.

Christine Moers Welcome To My Brain has a fantastic blog. She also has You Tube videos that will change your life.  No joke.  She's artistic and fun and beyond creative. She also does parent coaching. People pay her to tell them what to do. You can't go wrong reading her stuff.

Finally, the last two links I have included may be considered a little controversial.  Don't read these blogs at work due to their honest content and graphic pictures.  That being said, these women are incredibly brave writing so honestly and openly about their lives after suffering many, many abuses.

LT, is a young woman in her early 20s who aged out of foster care. It can be hard to read her posts because she has really struggled. Her ability to put you in her shoes is uncanny. I Was A Foster Kid

Butterfly is a mother who is a victim of incest and sexual abuse. Her marriage recently ended and she is writing about navigating the changes in her life. Reasons You Shouldn't %^*^ Kids can offend people but as she explains - its meant to shock and grab your attention.



  1. Excellent Choices!

    CherubMamma, I was overjoyed when you got the kids back! It sucks that the kids still have NO semblance of permanency, but perhaps by next week they will...?