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It's only Monday...

I sobbed into the phone as I was preparing dinner. Jelly Bean was in a mood and today I just couldn't deal. It was a long day at work (I work full time.) and Hubby requested steaks on the grill which I obliged because I was crabby yesterday. So I stopped at the grocery store where at one point Jelly Bean decided to run and actually fell in the middle of the store sliding across the aisle.

She was in trouble from the morning. She nearly missed the bus because she wasn't getting out of the car because she was busy trying to lace up these "converse" type boots that her sister got last week and her Mom bought for her this week. (Gabby hated them. I agree with Gabby.) she ran to the bus nearly wiping out because they were falling off her feet and she was tripping over them. The rule in our house is no accessories or new footwear if it's not on your body when you walk out of the house.

She did something as we were getting home and I yelled. She tantrumed and threw the shoes in the garbage without me knowing. I then emptied stuff into the garbage can.

She screamed and screeched. I listened to how mug she hates this house and this Mom. How I'm the worst Mom ever. I screamed and screeched back.

Then I nearly lit myself on fire with the grill and finally lost it when Hubby called. I sobbed into the phone. I'm tired of being the punching bag. I'm tired of being the target for someone else's mistakes. I'm tired of feeling guilty when I don't do a good job of being a therapeutic parent. I cried because I don't know if I can make it the three weeks until our vacation. And it's only Monday. It's not even Wednesday.

We opened a bottle of wine with the steaks. I'm headed to bed and praying that tomorrow is a better day.


  1. Newish Foster MomMay 2, 2012 at 6:08 AM

    I've found that when my kids' tantrums ebb and then start to flow again, it's a sign that they are on the cusp of a breakthrough. Don't give up! Dont throw in the towel! Being a human punching bag sucks. It does. It hurts bad.

    I know from reading your blog that you are full of wisdom and grace. You can do it!!


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