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Friday, April 6, 2012

I don't often let them see me sick.

I have an incurable illness. I've written about it before. My kids know that I have issues with headaches. They have no idea how sick I've been. They know I may never have biological kids because of it and that is why we became foster parents. But I don't flaunt it in front of them. In fact I handle all doctor appointments an testing without them knowing. Except today. Today is the first time they have ever been to the hospital with me.

The dizziness and the anti anxiety meds I took to curb my colossal freak out when being put in the MRI machine meant Hubby had to dive me. And since the kids had the day off they had to come with.

I assumed that Hubby would have them watch movies in the car. But 5 minutes in the waiting room and the crew comes running up to me. Now they are waiting in one room while I wait in another.

I feel bad. I hate people fussing over me. I hate ending an inconvenience. I hate that this may cause the kids to worry about me. I hate that with these results I may get news that my disease has worsened. Or that someone is going to tell me to stay off the rides at Disney World. Or be off work.

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