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Homesick

So we had all kinds of meltdowns and tears last night. Grandma and Grandpa took the 4 kids to the Kennedy Space Center for the day. I tried to warn my Mom that Jelly Bean wouldn't be able to handle it. That she would drive everyone nuts. So it was absolutely no surprise to me that when we met up for dinner Gabby and LM told me "Mom? Today wasn't the best day."

Mr. Mohawk told us his wish in the car was that Jelly Bean could make good choices and we could then all see the fireworks. Together. He's not yet 5.

Jelly Bean continued to try her hardest to needle me and I finally said to her- I'm on to you. I know it's Friday. I know your afraid of what's waiting for is at home. I know you were away from us all day and that was scary. Talk to me about your big feelings the right way or I will not respond and let me remind you I ALWAYS follow through on my consequences she went to bed.

Then it was Gabby and LM's turn. Gabby mentioned he felt LM was mad at her because she name called. LM admitted she was scared. I told them I thought they were both scared about the coming week. LM triggered to her dissociative place. Gabby cried as she watched het sister get trapped there.

We discussed they wanted to go home. What did home mean? Where they live. Where they want to stay. Where they have structure an consequences. Where they feel safe.

And we told them then you need to speak up. At this point the team doesn't seem to believe us. We tell the people how you feel but because you don't tell them they don't think we are being truthful. Speaking up will be hard but it's the shortest way out of foster care.

And they miss the dog. Which cracks me up because I am forever reminding them that the dog lives with us and we need to feed him and take him out.

So in a move that shows we made the right decision to drive 18 hours to Disney Works we are leaving early. Not hitting a park like we planned and heading home. Hoping to be home so that we can prepare for the coming week.

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