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Tuesday, June 12, 2012

The "Talk"

I was always grateful that my Mom was open and honest with me about sex. I always felt I could ask her questions and not feel embarrassed.

But I don't remember being 12 when it happened. LM and I had a fairly candid conversation about sex this week after discovering JB was talking about it at daycare and at bedtime. It was a huge trigger for LM as she was raped by one of Mom's boyfriends. (JB was pretty graphic when discussing such as "you know when the man gets on top of the woman and puts his thing inside her".)

Her question to me was if she could have gotten pregnant if she had her period.

So I explained reproduction. I explained that I hope one day sex is a positive thing, enjoyable even, between her and a committed partner of her choice when she is an adult. I went over hormones and what peers may start to talk about and that she can always come to me with questions.

I stopped short of discussing birth control methods (beyond abstinence) because I'm pretty sure that physical relationships are not in her near future.

I wish I had five minutes in a room with her sexual abusers. I'd inflict as much damage as I could so that at critical junctures in their life they would feel the pain I inflicted on them over and over again.

I let JB's therapist handle her. I'm just not really sure how to approach all of it the best way.

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