Visit Days

We are just about to hit the year mark of being parents. People often remark about how much our lives must have changed in such a short period of time. They are correct. Weekdays used to consist of work and volunteer activities, evenings of tv and reading. Weekends were lazy days sleeping in and running errands before movie marathons at the theater and nights out with friends. Poker games and sporting events. Yearly trips to Las Vegas. Today (Saturday)I woke up at 6:15am after going to bed at 10:30pm. The dog annoyed me until I got up to let him out at 6:30. I had 30 minutes to kill before I had to get the kids up for their visit. Saturdays they get picked up between 7:15 and 7:30 to drive an hour to their Mom's house where they spend 5 hours with their Mom and the supervisor and then drive an hour home. The kids get cagey if the driver is late. She didn't show up until 7:45. LM was able to kick up quite the attitude by then. First, I made her change because what she was wearing was something more appropriate for summer. Then I reminded her to get her homework together. Oy! That brought out the "looks could kill" face and the silent treatment and storming to the car. I know she hates bringing her homework. I know that gets in the way of all the TV and fingernail painting that Mom does with her. But the caseworker suggested it and I fully support it. How are we going to see that they are able to return home if we can't get homework done? The real reason she hates it though is that its a reminder of how much Mom has NOT changed. That LM is still going to be responsible for helping her siblings - which she resents and that there is no one who can help her. And the kid is terrified that the frustration and stress brought on by homework with herself, and her siblings will cause Mom to loose it and her dream of going home will go out the window. (And ok - part of me resents that their Mom dictates so much of my life and it seems only fair that she has to do ONE thing that I battle with them daiily about since I'm the target of all the other attitude and screaming.But I signed up for this so I'm not allowed to say that out loud right?) We'll see if she kept her promise of Chucky Cheese. I already heard rumblings from LM that they might go to McDonald's instead. Hopefully the drama when they get home will be minimal today.