I woke up today feeling like the left side of my face was on fire. And I knew deep down, that I will no longer be able to pretend I don't have a chronic illness. One sided face pain is generally a bad sign. So I called the neurologist and got orders for a dreaded MRI. And after 4 phone calls I finally got that scheduled. Within a minute of getting on the horn I was reminded of all the stress and frustration that comes with being sick. The new rule is you can't schedule the appointment without the precertification number. That requires a facility. How can I pick a facility if I don't know what their availability is because they can't look at the schedule without a pre-cert? Maddening. And I have insurance. It's not the Medical Card I'm trying to use. (And all the foster parents nod their heads in understanding.)
The thing is, I know what's in store and it's no fun. Appointments, tests, medications with yucky side effects. Having to explain over an over that my condition is rare. As in, the nurse I spoke to today at my doctor's office had never heard of it. I don't have time to be sick. I have too much to get done and that probably the cause of the "flare up".
And because I know that the meds are likely to cause depression I needed to get out in front of that piece. I was headed there anyway to deal with my weepines over my kids lack of permanency. And to add insult to injury the first person that I called told me she had no room for me.
It might all be interrelated. I just know my face feels like it's being stabbed by hot pokers and it's making me increasingly crabby.
I'm long over due for a flare up. In that regard I've been lucky. And where my disease presents itself could be worse- I could be paralyzed or blind. It just really burst my bubble today.
I'll be fine. This go-round we know what it is (last time I was in pain 18 months before anyone figured it out). Hopefully I will respond quickly to the treatment and move on. I'm over my pity party and just ready to move forward.