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Tuesday, July 17, 2012

Stolen Chips, A Visit and a Thunderstorm

As predicted the visits are going to be moved back to accommodate Mom's schedule. I had to laugh though because the same day I got this news Gabby came home with a birthday party invitation for a Saturday afternoon. When asked what she wanted to do she told me it was a really hard decision. Apparently visits the park don't have as much appeal as a gymnastics party.

Jelly Bean presented me with a co-parenting opportunity by stealing chips, bringing them to day care, getting caught, and calling the teacher an idiot and running her mouth. Of course the chips that she took were the kind her Mom sends home weekly so I sent her a text told her what happened and asked her to not send chips with her this week. Of course she sent a text back about a different kid.... Did I mention these texts are in Spanish? And her grammar and spelling are so bad Google Translate doesn't work?

The visit they had today was later afternoon and unfortunately Mom was late by 5 minutes. Just long enough to freak the kids out. Their uncle, his girlfriend (Mom's roommate) an the girlfriends kids were all at the visit. I'm glad the kids are seeing additional family but again she's supposed to be learning to parent. She can't do that if there are other children and other adults there to distract them. But again that's probably a part of the reason they are there.

Little Mama and Jelly Bean came home pretty sad. Little Mama because the visit didn't start well and Jelly Bean had a very strong reaction and cried real tears for the first time in months. The pressure of trying to be perfectly behaved, the fear of getting hurt, of being forgotten, and the fear of not returning home.

I rocked her. I acknowledged her fears. I listened. She processed and then was able to take a shower and get into bed with no issues. Then the thunderstorm hit and it was Little Mama's turn to meltdown.

Thunder and lighting upset most kids. But I have children that actually dissociate when they happen. A few weeks ago we were in the car when a really bad storm hit- think uprooted trees in the middle of the road. That storm actually scared me too but when I looked over at LM she was literally white knuckled.

Tonight I heard the clap of thunder and then crying. I initially thought it was Mr. Mohawk but found out it was Little Mama. The sound triggered her to her "scary place" or dissociative state.

As a parent this is very alarming. You walk into a room and see your kid literally shaking, crying and when you come near she recoils. I have learned to walk softly and slowly and not move towards her. Her therapists have taught her a tapping technique but we took that one step further and have started EFT Tapping. (I'll link to some great sites - thanks Lisa when I have time.) So I walked her through the tapping and got her back in less than three minutes. Even the dog seemed calmer.

About 15 minutes later the storm had started to move on and LM started to look like she could try to fall asleep. Such a brave girl.

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