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Monday, July 30, 2012

Handling Updates

As we gear up for school to start I'm trying to take a more laid back approach to how I normally document what's going on in the case. Generally, every Monday when things are rough I send an update. If things are going ok I will send an update every two weeks

Since lately I feel as if no one cares what I have to say I'm not sending an update this week. I kind of want to see if the CASA worker will reach out to me. She has only called a handful of times and really hasn't asked me much and I'm wondering if that is because I send the updates or if she doesn't care what my opinion is. The kids don't report her asking any questions beyond getting to know you type stuff and I know that she calls Mom. Which I'm sure gives a totally skewed version of whats going on but she's been a CASA for like 15 years so I'm hoping she knows what she is doing.

Normally, I would have emailed and said that both Jelly Bean and Mr. Mohawk wet the bed the night they were told visits in Mom's home were going to resume. I also would have recapped the discussion the kids had about 2 of them missing their visit this weekend for birthday parties and not feeling bad about it. Gabby going as far as stating she still doesn't want to go to ANY visits. And Jelly Bean's response that visits are more important than birthday parties which sounded pretty rehearsed considering her normal view of the world. (Perhaps she really does feel that way - she does have a pretty strong need to protect her Mom from her sisters and their "meaness".)

But since no one listens (except you guys) I'm taking a break. I've asked that the visits be set up a week before school starts as if school were in session and that no more changes be made until the end of September. Since visits will continue mid-week during the school year I want to get a pretty set routine in place so that we can see how this is all going to flow.

We attempted to get homework completed with Mom during visits on Saturdays last year but that was pretty much a bust.  The kids either 1) lied to us that they didn't have homework 2) lied to her that it was finished 3) claimed they needed help and 4) that their Mom could not help them (which we discovered meant they didn't ask her and just assumed she couldn't help them).  Homework is a GIGANTIC stessor in our home and so it will be interesting to see how the kids and Mom handle it. Since it will be mid-week they will have no option but to finish their work. Perhaps this will break them out of the "sunshine and rainbows" cycle of visits being all fun and absolutely no semblence of normal activity. For example - Do you paint your daughters nails every 3 days (In a Chinese Buffet). Park daily? I took the four of them to the store to get school supplies and they nearly drove me off a cliff.

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