Labels

ACR (1) acupuncture (1) adoption (30) Adoption; RAD; emotions; tantrum (1) adoptive families (4) Amazing people (2) anger (6) Anxiety (1) appointments (1) Attachment (4) Attachment therapy (1) babies (1) banging my head (8) Bed wetting (1) beds (3) bedwetting (3) behavior (25) bio families (2) bio parents (26) biological parents (5) Biological parents; adoption (3) Biological parents; adoption; co parenting (1) Bioparents (1) birth families (20) birth moms (1) birth parents (5) birthdays (3) blogging (5) Boundaries (4) CASA (1) caseworker (9) challenges (4) change (1) Changes (2) co-parenting (16) confessions (15) Consequences (2) Court (19) crafts (1) CW Visit (5) DCFS (9) decisions (3) diary (1) dicipline (1) drama queen (2) emotions (129) Fab Four (14) Fab Four: Post Reunification (2) faith (10) family (12) Family fun (9) family outings (7) family support (15) family therapy (4) feelings (7) fertility (2) flowers (1) food (1) foster care (25) foster parenting (83) Foster parenting; permanency (3) fun (1) Gabby (4) grief (9) healing (5) Holiday (8) Holidays (5) Homework (1) honesty (1) Hubby (2) husbands (3) If I'm being honest (5) illness (1) investigation (1) Jelly Bean (4) laughter (1) legal issues (4) licensing (2) Little Mama (2) loss (5) love (8) lying (1) marriage (1) meetings (1) meltdown (1) Mental Health (3) migraine (1) milestones (1) Mommy Humor (5) mother (1) motherhood (46) Movie review (1) Mr. Mohawk (7) music (2) names (2) Neglect (1) neurosarcoidosis (6) Nostalgia (1) nothing to do with foster care (8) Open adoption (2) organization (1) other people's reactions (7) Overnight visits (2) parenting (12) permanency (10) perspective (6) photolistings (1) photos (2) pictures (5) placement (1) Placements (23) Post Reunification (26) Post visit behavior (2) Post-reunification (5) PRIDE (1) progress (1) PTSD (5) puberty (1) Quartet (3) Questions (1) RAD (5) relationships (6) return home (1) reunification (10) safe haven (1) Sarah (3) sarcasm (1) school (10) Sexual abuse (4) shopping (2) sibling (1) siblings (5) Simon (6) sleep (1) Smiley (1) Social Media (2) Solana (4) Stella (1) stress (9) Suicide (1) support (5) tantrums (3) Team Work (1) Teamwork (5) Thank You (1) The Quartet (1) The System (2) Therapeutic parenting (2) therapy (19) TPR (7) training (1) Transition (10) transition plan (10) trauma (9) triggers (4) typical kids (1) Urine (1) verbal abuse (1) Visit behavior (3) visits (38) waiting (2) where to start (3)

Monday, March 9, 2015

Birthday Parties Are Hard

Sarah was invited to a birthday party this past weekend. I RSVPd yes because I'd love to see her make friends but if I'm being honest, I hate going to these things. 

Turns out my kid does too.

1) I don't know the other parents. Sure it would be a good way to meet the other parents but that's only if they are friendly. 

2) We don't really know the kids. It was the majority of her class but she really didn't have a group. There is a little girl who she was paired with the first week as her buddy who happens to share her last name. She tried to get Sarah to join in but Sarah was glued to my side.

3) I had to stay at the party. I have a billion things to get done but I knew this wasn't something I could drop her off for. 

I'm glad I stayed because I practically had to I peel her 8 year old self off my lap. She cried when I told her refusing the glow stick was rude. 

That's a hard thing- trauma parenting to kids' comfort while also teaching them things like manners and commitment.  And then guess what- you have to plaster the smile on your face and appear like you don't hate every minute of being there.

But they opened the door to the inflatable arena and after doing a lap around the options she joined in. She got all sweaty and while I stayed within eye sight she only came to me with her sweaty sweater, to take her to the bathroom and after she conquered the rock wall. Even though it was dark and loud.

(She had no idea Mom knew anything about rock climbing so when I gave her some tips she used them on her next turn to climb higher.)

After the running around part we went into the party room for pizza and cake. The whole thing is chaotic and it makes me anxious. It's got to make her edgy too.

While sitting there another Mom got to talking with me. When she realized I was Sarah's Mom she to me I must know this other little girl in the class. When I have her a completely confused look she reasoned it was because we have the same last name.

Along the lines of:
You know, because all the Hispanic people are related....

Face palm.

I almost wanted to tell her I have four kids with different last names just to see what her reaction was.....

She was well meaning and she didn't know better but sometimes people say some dumb stuff. 

We also had some Wow! You were busy comments.

All in stride now. All in stride.

Sarah might have been terrified of the party but she was brave and went for it anyway. I love that she tries really hard to make the best of the situation. She inspires me. If she can handle the birthday party so can I.

No comments:

Post a Comment