I am so afraid I'm never going to see you agian.

Admittedly, I'm a little cranky. I threw my back out on Friday and despite my trip to the most awesome chiropractor I'm still in a lot of pain. I can stand up straight but I'm still very sore. I love this man - he was able to relieve me of pain that no medical doctor could. (Seriously Google Trigeminal Neuralgia. Aka Suicide Disease. Take note that I am not a geriatric patient nor do I have a brain tumor that can be removed.) so it kind of ticked me off that after snap. Cracking, and popping my body and putting 6 acupuncture needles in my back I'm still in pain.

In case you are living in a cave tomorrow is Valentine's Day (well today as my clock just turned). This is not a real big deal to Hubby an I - or rather it's not a big deal to him and after 11 years together I've learned to not expect anything and be surprised with a card every so often. But the schools need an excuse for a party so they make a big deal. We bought no less than 120 valentines. Last year I felt so like the rookie as I followed the class instructions and sent only cards and my 3 year old came home with gift wrapped packages of healthy snacks and fun pencils. (Seriously, when do these women have time for this? LABELED goody bags with messages. I'm lucky I know where my printer is. Although that might not work because ya know Mr. Mohawk likes to shove office supplies into electronics...)

So I thought I'd get this Madness out of the way on Sunday. Yeah. Didn't work so well. I was still sitting there counting cards and getting names on stuff tonight. In trying to attach the Smarties I got for the kids to add to their Valentines (120 pieces people.) I discovered that Mr. Mohawk did not write his name on the cards. His sisters did it for him. Of course I asked which sister and was immediately lied to. (Which Jelly Bean pointed out was kind of dumb since there are 4 of them and someone will cave-See she does listen sometimes when I talk.) so when the other sister came downstairs I confronted her.

Mommy mistake. Firstly, she had just met with her therapist. I should know better but I was just so irritated. I'm accused of treating the little one different and here I hive him a task and they do it for him. How can you complain he never has to do anything when you take it away. (Now you might be wondering where I was when this was happening. I was laying on a heating pad because I could no longer be vertical at that point Sunday after I got him started.)

So I tell Gabby and LM that I'm disappointed and irritated 1)that they didn't follow directions 2) that it was trying to be covered up and lied about. So Gabby starts crying. Sobbing. Holding her breath. I try to explain the importance of their brother learning things on his own. The reason the especially need to tell the truth. Even their therapist jumped in an explained some. Then LM and therapist head upstairs to the room for therapy and Gabby starts crying harder. "I'm so afraid I'm never going to see you again!"

"Why Gabby? You aren't going anywhere any time soon." puzzled.

More sobs. "One day you'll die. We all have to." snot comes out of her nose. And in a move that tells me how much I've become a Mom I wipe it away with my hand.

"Gabby I'm not dying. I'm not sick. My back hurts but that won't kill me. Of I die I hope it will be in 50 years."

"You'll be 80!" as if this is too young.

This continued for a little while and then the crying got worse before it got better. I had her air in our rocking chair with me and I had her deep breathe and repeat with me that she was safe and loved and that this was where she lives.