But I don't want to take my pills. I want to stay happy. -Jelly Bean

She was HYPER and bouncing off the walls because she had not yet taken her ADHD meds. And her sisters were including her and they were laughing together. Not at her.

I want you to stay happy too which is WHY you need to take your pills.

But I'm not like THIS when I take them.

Yes. I know. But you get really happy and then really, really sad and I don't want you to get really, really sad. The pills help you stay calm and more even.

And as if she needed to justify it to herself she then proceeded to stomp down the stairs causing her to "try it again" which then led to a melt down. Dad sent her to time out and I pulled her into my lap and instantly it was over. I felt her whole body relax against me.

I'm not sure why this morning we were gearing up to do battle with "Little Jelly Bean" which is how we refer to her brain when the trauma takes hold and all she can do is spin out of control due to fear and anxiety. Could be lack of visits with Mom. Could be fear that visits with Mom will start back up. Could be her siblings being invited to birthday parties this weekend and not her (they are not going to the same party). Could be that she did not have therapy Friday and her sisters did an she's afraid she won't see her therapist today. Could be that she wanted glasses but didn't need them and her sister did. Maybe I'll figure it out. Maybe I won't.

Even though I may not know why her brain is in traumaland right now. I DO know how to help her. And it goes against "normal" parenting which sometimes makes it hard to keep up all day. She's clingy and acting much younger than her 8 years of chronological age. And in some sort of blessing instead of acting out seeking negative attention she's just seeking approval of every.little.thing.she's.doing.

So at the store when she asked to sit in the grocery cart- I let her. She feels safe in there. It's a defined space in a huge warehouse with lots of objects and people that overwhelm her. We might get strange looks but it's better than the looks I'd be getting if I were yelling and she were crying.

And when she peppered me with questions about EVERYTHING I patiently answered them. Encouraged them. Hugged her every time she asked. Essentially babyed her all day long.