Skip to main content

Sweet Dreams

I wish I could record the kids sleeping and share it. The snoring going on is hysterical. And they all wanted to share a bed! I decided to let them figure out sleeping arrangements. The way they paired up was interesting. 

MM and Simon of course were together. I heard MM say to Simon "I'm going to call you my brother from now on". I'm not sure if that was because he couldn't remember his name or if he really felt like he added a sibling!

Jelly Bean and Stella decided to share. I'm sure one of them is going to end up on the floor as Jelly Bean tends to move in her sleep. Sarah and Smiley begged Gabby to share the full size bed with them. I'm pretty sure she only agreed because that's the bed the dog sleeps on. I ended up waking her up and moving her to the top bunk that somehow ended up empty. LM took the top bunk in the boys room. I'm going to bet she asks to sleep on the couch tomorrow night.

So far everyone has been good. They had a nice time at the dance. The kids who were friends with the Fab Four were excited to see them. The Quartet proved that they are dancing queens. All in all it was a lot of fun. Maria and I both danced with our sons. It was a really cool moment. 

I realize this is one of my really crazy ideas. I'm approaching all of it with a very large dose of patience. I'm just so happy that they are all under one roof. And for one brief second I thought- wouldn't this be fun to have all of these kids? And then I remembered all of the other issues and dynamics...And the joy I feel for Maria that her kids don't need me to be their Mom on a daily basis. 

She gets a much needed break, I get to be loved by 8 kids. And the dog has this grin on his face. I swear if he could talk he'd say, "My kids! My kids! I'm so happy they are here!". 

A day like this is truly a blessing from foster care. If you had told me three years ago I would plan to have 8 kids in my home for the weekend I wouldn't have believed you. But they are all here. Sleeping soundly in a home where they all feel safe. That's a pretty amazing thought. In this rare instance, I'll admit we are a pretty amazing family. 

Comments

  1. This is when foster care works in AMAZING ways. I'm thrilled for you that you've been able to have this experience, and that the kids are all making such great progress.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

She Never Cried

Sheila called to wish Sarah Happy Birthday and she shared a story with her that as a baby she never cried. Not when she was hungry, not when she was tired, never. She never cried.
A little later Sarah said to me:
"Mom, my Mom said I never cried. I don't really believe that. That can't be true can it? Don't all babies cry sometimes?"
Oh my sweet girl. The red flag went up for her too. As I listened to Sheila share this story fondly, I felt sad. That was a sign of her RAD. That was because she couldn't count on adults. That was because she cried and no one came so she learned not to cry.
"It doesn't sound right to you, does it?"
"No."
"I know your Mom shared that story because she thinks it's cute you never cried. It made me sad. You are right babies cry so adults take care of them. You know how you had a lot of different adults that were supposed to take care of you as a baby?"
"Yeah, like 10 foster parents."
"Well …

Minimum Parenting Standards - Monday's Post

I can't figure out Blogger's time zone and I may not have time to write Monday evening so here is Monday's post.

This week we are having another "team" meeting. This time to discuss the "minimum parenting standards" that the kid's Mom has to meet in order to be "good enough" to parent them.

Now I have all kids of issues with this entire exercise. The first being that these kids deserve better than the minimum. The second, that good enough isn't going to cut it with their issues. The hardest part though is being asked to write down a guide to being their parent FOR their parent. Putting my commitment to first reunify a family to the test. It is one thing to suggest ways in which she can be a better parent and to support the goal by not bad mouthing her and encouraging the kids to share their true feelings. It is an entirely different thing to sit down and write a guide for a woman who has yet to grasp the basics after two years.

It wa…

Reader Question: Did You change their names?

Yes we did. We actually started using their new names shortly after their good bye visit with Sheila last August. So the only name that really changed this week was their last name (kind of, one of them actually had our last name). We had started using them so we wouldn't have to try to do a name change mid-school year. Plus the kids had only been in the school the last 1/2 of the year so they didn't know everyone yet. The school was great about going with the new first names.
At some point Simon spontaneously asked his teacher if he could change his name tag on his desk to our last name. He was tired of waiting on the legal stuff. He started to write Simon Almost Last Name on his papers. So we asked all the kids and they asked for the same update. Their report cards and benchmarks still had their legal names. 
The name change was a bit cumbersome at first. We sounded like owls because someone would ask for a person by their birth name and we would all answer "Who?". W…

FAQs

I had some questions asked of me recently that I thought I would answer here:

1) How do you keep doing this after so much crap?
I actually had two different foster moms ask me this. One dealing with a false allegation and one in a kinship case with a pregnant, unstable bio mom.

I'm not sure I have an eloquent answer to this question. I think I've reached a point where I see the bigger picture - the kids.  That's not to say this stuff doesn't drive me nuts or make me emotional. I would be spitting fire if we had to deal with a false allegation. I'm really upset about the potential of having to make a decision about another baby. But if not me, who? We are good at this. There are kids that need me. And I probably need them. I am a caretaker by nature.  What would I be doing with myself if I didn't have 15 different obligations all at once? I have no idea because I've always been this way. And right now all of the current drama is related to my children. I s…

It is a process

It's a physical ache. A pain in the middle of my chest.  And it causes hot tears, the kind that sting my eyes.  It settled over me today and I couldn't shake it.

It started with news that more people in our lives are expecting and today, I just couldn't muster the happiness.  I heard complaints of not feeling well and my ability to plaster the smile on my face just vanished from my body. I left the house to "run an errand" but really I just needed an escape.

All week I've been able to communicate and tell people about Solana leaving without any trouble.  I probably sounded like a PSA for "How to be the role model foster parent".

People were asking:

So will you get to adopt the little one? Is she staying?

Well no, actually.  She is going home in a few weeks. That's the goal of foster care. We are really happy for her dad. He really gets it. We've built a relationship. I'm so glad she doesn't have to go through the pain of adoption or …