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Wednesday, February 5, 2014

New Challenges

It's been a while since we had full blown tantrums happening in our house and I forgot how exhausting they can be. Sarah and Smiley each had issues this week. Sarah because her burrito had tomatoes in it and Smiley because her mittens wouldn't go on her hands. 

Well okay, maybe it's not as simple as that. Sarah's tantrum was one of the first nights that Hubby had to handle pick up and dinner without me. I walked in from yoga no less, and found her screaming and him trying to de-escalate. iPad instantly back in te daily tantrums of Jelly Bean as the cadence of her cries are Rey similar. 

It's a primal sound because its fear based. She is not at a point where she can verbalize her fear or at the point where we can approach her. Both Hubby and I stayed within a few feet of her room as we tried to eat her unstuck. 

It ended with us telling her because she was still crying she must be tired and therefore needed to go to sleep. To which she answered with yelling and scream "I'm not tired". My answer- you don't have to sleep but you are going to lay quietly in that bed. She of course was snoring within a few minutes.

Smiley picked the snow storm to scream in all the way to school. I didn't do a good job of staying calm like I did with Sarah. It was a rough morning compounded by the fact that I just wanted her to stop so I could focus on driving in the snow. When we got to school I asked for a do-over and we moved on.

It's really hard to have kids who won't ask for help in the home. The Fab Four used to drive me crazy with their neediness. These kids would rather suffer in silence. We are trying really hard to overcome this with extra time spent hanging out and conversing. 

The other hard thing is that the kids don't know how to read facial expressions. Simon especially. Tonight I noticed his hands were cracked and raw. I exclaimed "what happened to your hand" and he started to get worried an year up because he thought he was in trouble. He couldn't tell worry from anger. My heart broke. We've gotten in the habit of telling the kids "this is my _______ face". It's a whole new set of challenges. 

Identifying them is 1/2 the battle, right?

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