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Saturday, April 6, 2013

I'm Running Away

There was a time in my life when I would simply get busy. I would fill my days up with volunteering, organizations, plans. That way I wouldn't think about hurt and pain.

As an adult I learned to say no. I wouldn't sign up for anything I wasn't absolutely sure I wanted to do or had time for. Then I became a foster Mom and I was right back to being busy and doing everything for everyone.

I'm not sure how to be in the middle an I'm not sure what to do when it comes to a screeching halt this week.

So I will be running away. This past weekend we went up to a day spa cottage for our timeshare. I read. I napped. I spent quality time with Hubby and friends. I drank. I sat outside in the woods and soaked all day in water.

In 2 weeks I will be in Disney World. And then back to the cottage a few times in May. I'll be searching for my new normal. One where I'm not keeping everyone afloat. Where I'm not juggling homework and tantrums.

The normal where I am not Mom. I am simply R. Literally, this pains me. I spent a good chunk of this weekend with stomach cramps. Ones I've had before that sent me to the ER. The ones where I was told that stress was the cause.

I have to get through this week so that I can run away....

2 comments:

  1. Running away sounds like a totally acceptable plan to me.

    ReplyDelete
  2. A plan is a good thing to have.

    ReplyDelete