Greetings from Italy

Well kind of. I'm sitting in the Italy Pavilion in Disney's Epcot park just chilling before dinner.

Yes. The weekend after I moved my foster kids I jetted to Walt Disney World.

Now some might question the sanity of this decision. I've only questioned it once. We set the date in February way before the pause in visits and the ultimatum of notice. We have annual passes that are still good until May, we stay at our time share and flights were cheap.

But as our plane descended to land I began to cry. I don't know if I finally let go as the trip signaled the end of our plan. I don't know if the stress of the last two weeks finally caught up to me. I don't know if it was missing the kids or relief that I didn't have to be responsible for a family of six. Maybe it was all of it. Either way the plane was landing and I was crying.

I'm not sure I understood the term heart ache prior to this. There are moments where I am fine - an then my heart yearns to know how they are. What they are doing. And the text from LM about her missing us was really hard.

And being in the place is at the same time painful and therapeutic. So many memories of our trips a a family. And at the same time learning I can survive it. Dream about taking other kids.

I also got to spend some time with my best friend and her family. Which was awesome. Especially the little boy hugs I got. I think it mended me a bit.