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Oh my magic pills

It's been a tough week. So tough that I've actually taken my anti-anxiety medication 3 days in a row.

Tuesday brought news that the foster parent's legal team (who abused Jelly Bean) sent an investigator to talk to Bio Mom. How he tracked her down I'm not sure but since he presented himself as someone from DCFS she spoke to him. At some point she felt uncomfortable and then stopped cooperating.

In the same call caseworker let me know that JB had made statements of "I want to kill myself" to her Mom at the visit Saturday. And of course no word from Bio Mom when it happened to us.

Ummm, may have been something to mention to us....

Then Wednesday I got a call from caseworker that Bio Mom was in the hospital and what were my thoughts about the kids going to see her in the hospital.

I managed to slightly censor my thoughts which were um hell no!

I could write an entire post about why I think hospitals are not a place for children and especially not a place for visitation.

In the end, we told her that she needed to take them or we would take them Friday because middle of the week wasn't best for the kids. She decided to take them and the kids handled being there fairly well.

It was the fall out at home that I was worried most about and that's exactly what I got. Math homework brought on tears about dying Mother's and nightmares about adoption.

Then I got the call that both JB and LM will need to testify in open court against the monster foster parent. Because jack ass that he is is taking it to jury trial.

Did I mention that this was also the trauma anniversary of JB being moved into that home? Let's just say the sheets were washed daily this week.

Normally work is my escape but this week has been awful and I'm having team issues with a girl I work with.

The great debate tonight will be do we take the kids to see their Mom since visits were cancelled and she's still in the hospital.

It's not a life threatening illness. The thought crept into my head though that I could only be so lucky and then I appropriately reprimanded and shamed myself for having the thought. I'm not as good a person as I think I am. (Maybe I should share that with the next person who accuses me of being a saint!)

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