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Rules To Calm Sarah Down

As I mentioned, Sarah has been struggling.  I'm not sure if its the delay in the adoption or if this would have happened organically as she continued to attach.  (It's really easy to blame Bio Mom, but I have to admit, she probably would have done this anyway.) She gets so very angry.  Its hard to imagine, the peanut that she is, can scream the way she does.  Its shrill. Its primal. Its exhausting for both her and us.  But man when she is committed, she is committed.

Last week her therapist and her worked on a list of "Rules" for us to follow when she is tantruming as they are supposed to help her calm down. The rules include getting her a drink of water and a tissue, allowing her to use hand signals, and an order in which to hug her.

We used it earlier in the week while at a restaurant and it worked really well.

At home, not so much.  It was Father's Day and it was largely my fault. 

I just couldn't take finding the pee soaked pull up where it was not supposed to be for the 3rd day in a row, after discussing where it was to go the day before and the day before that.  Additionally, I discovered the offending pull up while investigating an alleged biting over a bracelet. 8 1/2 and 6 years old were the participating siblings. 

I yelled. I yelled loud.  And she started to cry and yell back.  And then we were stuck in the tantrum for an hour. I tried to let her follow her Rules.  Then she decided she was going to slam the water down on the table and splash it everywhere and rip the tissue I handed her into shreds and throw it on the floor.

I'm going to need a bunker when my girls hit puberty because if this is what it looks like at 8, I'm in some serious trouble.

Somehow, Hubby and I were able to get our wits back and try the "Rules" again. And we were able to get back to normal.  We are trying to remember that this is a healthy sign that we are parents she can yell at, but it sucks to be in this spot. For all of us.

We have a parent coaching session this week to keep moving us forward.  But really I just want to lay down and take a nap.  I think the stress is beginning to really take its toll on me.


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