Labels

ACR (1) acupuncture (1) adoption (30) Adoption; RAD; emotions; tantrum (1) adoptive families (4) Amazing people (2) anger (6) Anxiety (1) appointments (1) Attachment (4) Attachment therapy (1) babies (1) banging my head (8) Bed wetting (1) beds (3) bedwetting (3) behavior (25) bio families (2) bio parents (26) biological parents (5) Biological parents; adoption (3) Biological parents; adoption; co parenting (1) Bioparents (1) birth families (21) birth moms (1) birth parents (5) birthdays (3) blogging (5) Boundaries (4) CASA (1) caseworker (9) challenges (4) change (2) Changes (2) co-parenting (16) confessions (15) Consequences (2) Court (20) crafts (1) CW Visit (5) DCFS (9) decisions (3) diary (1) dicipline (1) drama queen (2) emotions (130) Fab Four (14) Fab Four: Post Reunification (2) faith (10) family (12) Family fun (9) family outings (7) family support (15) family therapy (4) feelings (7) fertility (2) flowers (1) food (1) foster care (25) foster parenting (83) Foster parenting; permanency (3) fun (1) Gabby (4) grief (9) healing (5) Holiday (8) Holidays (5) Homework (1) honesty (1) Hubby (2) husbands (3) If I'm being honest (5) illness (1) investigation (1) Jelly Bean (4) laughter (1) legal issues (4) licensing (2) Little Mama (2) loss (5) love (8) lying (1) marriage (1) meetings (1) meltdown (1) Mental Health (3) migraine (1) milestones (1) Mommy Humor (5) mother (1) motherhood (46) Movie review (1) Mr. Mohawk (7) music (2) names (2) Neglect (1) neurosarcoidosis (6) Nostalgia (1) nothing to do with foster care (8) Open adoption (2) organization (1) other people's reactions (7) Overnight visits (2) parenting (12) permanency (10) perspective (6) photolistings (1) photos (2) pictures (5) placement (1) Placements (23) Post Reunification (26) Post visit behavior (2) Post-reunification (5) PRIDE (1) progress (1) PTSD (5) puberty (1) Quartet (3) Questions (1) RAD (5) relationships (6) return home (1) reunification (11) safe haven (1) Sarah (3) sarcasm (1) school (10) Sexual abuse (4) shopping (2) sibling (1) siblings (5) Simon (6) sleep (1) Smiley (1) Social Media (2) Solana (5) Stella (1) stress (9) Suicide (1) support (5) tantrums (3) Team Work (1) Teamwork (5) Thank You (1) The Quartet (1) The System (2) Therapeutic parenting (2) therapy (19) TPR (7) training (1) Transition (10) transition plan (10) trauma (9) triggers (4) typical kids (1) Urine (1) verbal abuse (1) Visit behavior (3) visits (38) waiting (2) where to start (3)

Monday, June 22, 2015

An Open Letter to the Biological Family Of My Children

Dear People,

I've been thinking a lot about you lately. Wondering why it is that none of you showed up for my kids this time.  Don't get me wrong, it's my good fortune that you didn't, but I can't help but wonder why the Hell not?

There are tons of family members that I've found on the Internet. Were you unaware that these kids needed a family? Didn't you wonder what had happened to them? Is their Mom that much of a nightmare that you thought it best to stay out of it?

I'm just perplexed by it all. I look at their beautiful faces and I think "you would have to pry them from my hands before I'd let you give them to someone else". What is wrong with this family that they you don't think that also? My only answer is to imagine you were lied to and I wonder if learning the truth would make your heart ache, the way that mine has as I've learned of the abuse and neglect they suffered.

Do you have any idea how odd it is that I now have legal standing where the baby is concerned over any of you? 

Do you know I dream of meeting you someday? I dream of you sharing stories about when my kids were little and helping them understand this great big family tree. I dream of being able to say that this child looks like so and so. I want to be able to give that gift to my child. 

I worry that you won't understand our adoption. The nuances of adopting children from foster care are sometimes hard to maneuver. I worry that the realities of their biological family will hurt my children. I worry that you will be more appealing and that my kids will fantasize about you (more than they probably already are). I worry you won't respect my role as their mother. And at the same time, I'm worried you will reject them if they seek you out.

I know there are more siblings.  I wonder how similar their personalities are.  I wonder if they are safe.  I wonder if they will ever know about my children. 

~Foster Mom R

No comments:

Post a Comment