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Friday, May 24, 2013

Aww Schucks

So I missed some comments on my Mother's Day post and just saw them today. Anonymous gave a great suggestion for Cherub Mama's Blog (I have links to blogs on the left side of this page I believe you will find her there because as you say she's got a great blog) and also cheered me in.

First, I want to say thank you. Thank you for reading. Thank you for affirming me. Thank you for your wonderful suggestion. It came at a perfect time as today was kind of a tough day for me.

I spent some time tonight speaking with a co-worker who adopted from foster care and who had/has children with severe PTSD and Reactive Attachment Disorder. It was nice to have someone who understood. I am struggling to find my footing. And that is really, really hard.

To be honest I'm not sure what the future holds. I'm at a true fork in the road and I may find that my life in September will be 180 degrees from April. I'm praying for wisdom and healing for myself and those around me.

At the same time the Fab Four are still very much present. My Mom got a call from Gabby who asked her to bring her to a function at her old school tomorrow. My Mom readily agreed. That was fantastic in so many levels. It shows how far their Mom has come, the coping skills Gabby has, and how far my Mom has come. The village approach seems to be happening. I never would have believed it.

I keep coming back to being able to see them and knowing they are loved being key to handling this. The majority of the time I am fine. I can talk about them and to them and have no issues. It's the moments where the silence is loud or the focus is elsewhere that are hardest to handle.

I know that time will help. And that ultimately, it will be ok. I will be ok. Often when things seem the most grey, a rainbow is just around the corner.

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