10 Questions To Ask When Considering a Foster Care Placement

I see this question very frequently in the Foster Parent Support Groups. What should I ask before agreeing to a new foster child placement?

I always feel a little tug on my heartstrings when I see that question. It reminds me about the hope and excitement we had when we started out. And then I remember we had zero time to come up with a list and it wouldn't have mattered because we weren't really given a clear picture even when we did ask the questions....sigh. Not that my pre-jaded self would have been discouraged by the truth....

So before I give you the list, here is my advice on how to approach those first few placement calls.

• Don't be rushed. The person calling will be frantic. They will tell you the child is in their office. They will need an answer ASAP. 

You are making a decision that is LIFE CHANGING. For you, your family, and the kids in care. If you don't spend the time now, it will cause issues later. And the kid who they are trying to place will likely pay the biggest price. So don't feel bad for being as thorough as possible. This is the only time you will have the power in this relationship and the only time you will have the caseworker's (if it's not an investigator) undivided attention.

• Trust your gut.

Don't say yes out of guilt. If you have a bad feeling, listen to it. If you feel you can help improve the kiddo's situation, then listen to that too.  Be honest with your ability to handle the child's needs or the demands of the case. It's ok to say no. It's better to say no if it's not a good fit, than to move a kiddo later.

• Understand who is calling you.  

Usually, calls for placements come in one of two ways. 1) Investigator - who just removed the child and is calling for placement for the first time. 2) A caseworker or agency person trying to place a child from another home, either for disruption or as a pre-adoptive placement.

An investigator isn't going to have the majority of the answers to your questions, ask anyway. The hope is that the caseworker is being truthful. I think a lot of the, time foster parents feel that caseworkers either lied or bent the truth or omitted information for fear someone won't take placement. I am on alert when someone tells me there are no "no issues" or "no trauma". So I always multiply whatever they tell me as worse than it sounds, by at least two. 

Now for the list:

1. Demographics - Child's Name, Birthday, School, County, where parents live, where child lived
2. Reason for Removal -Neglect, Abuse (physical or sexual), Domestic Violence
3. Length of time in Care, # of Moves, contact info for previous caregivers, ability to talk to them
4. Family Structure - Bio Mom, Bio Dad, Siblings, Paramores of Bios, Other siblings adopted or in care. If siblings not together, why not.
5. Case Details - CW info, their supervisor, GAL info, CASA info, Next Court Date, Service Plan, Case Goal, Agency Office
6. Visit Schedule and Transportation Responsibilities - how frequent, number of hours, more than one bio parent, sibling visits, where/when, how long have visits been set this way, who transports
7. Medical Needs - Allergies, Medications, Special Equipment, Upcoming appointments, drug exposure
8. Educational Needs - Grade, 504 Plan, IEP
9. Mental Health Needs - trauma history, sexual acting out, hospitalizations, currently in therapy, contact information for all
10. Placement Details - when would children come, what will they come with, clothing sizes, is it possible to gradually transition

What would you add? Do you keep a similar list? What would you have asked, that you didn't? I'd love to hear your thoughts below or on Facebook.