It’s been 2 years since Solana came into our lives. It looks nothing like we hoped and everything like we hoped. She came, she went home, and then she stayed. In the fall, SD sought some advice. He had the opportunity to save some money but he would have to give up his apartment. Should he do it he asked? And if he did it, could Solana stay with us?
So with my Mom’s incredible offer to provide free child care to her, Solona began staying here full time with SD coming and staying most weekends with us. We video chat with him every day and we make up this interesting family unit of Mom, Dada, and Daddy (how she distinguishes between her Dads.) Solona and “the Guys” (the kids).
The few times she’s gone and stayed at SD’s house she’s definitely tried to re-assure us she was coming back. And called us several times a day to check in. She’ll tell us “Don’t worry. I be right back” and “Mama, you come a picka me up.” And when she gets home, “I’m home! I come right back!”.
Because SD has spent so much time here I put his name on the family Christmas ornament and bought him a matching stocking. He plans on spending Christmas with us. Such a departure from what I thought our lives would look like, but I’m so glad we had open minds. My kids win every day growing up with their sibling.
The “Guys” are doing ok. We are mostly surviving the holiday stress and trauma anniversary of them moving into our family 4 years ago. Simon is struggling a bit with some very big feelings. He confessed yesterday that he doesn’t really like to be reminded he is adopted and doesn’t really want to see Sheila. So hard to know where the balance is between acknowledging/celebrating their roots and respecting their journey. He has a deep seeded fear that we will kick him out that is just soul crushing to me as a Mom.
The hormones are kicking in for the rest of the crew also. Smiley graduated from speech this week and we closed out her IEP. We are trying to get Sarah an IEP due to the struggles she had at the beginning of the year, mostly out of concern for next year and middle school. We had a bit of a stumble at Thanksgiving but seem to have recovered and maybe moved forward a bit. Stella is thriving and we are starting to see some very age appropriate behavior so I guess that’s good.
As we head into 2018, I wish all of you the peace you need. I pray that you get to enjoy some of the holiday or get to make some positive memories because sometimes that’s all trauma and the system allow.
So with my Mom’s incredible offer to provide free child care to her, Solona began staying here full time with SD coming and staying most weekends with us. We video chat with him every day and we make up this interesting family unit of Mom, Dada, and Daddy (how she distinguishes between her Dads.) Solona and “the Guys” (the kids).
The few times she’s gone and stayed at SD’s house she’s definitely tried to re-assure us she was coming back. And called us several times a day to check in. She’ll tell us “Don’t worry. I be right back” and “Mama, you come a picka me up.” And when she gets home, “I’m home! I come right back!”.
Because SD has spent so much time here I put his name on the family Christmas ornament and bought him a matching stocking. He plans on spending Christmas with us. Such a departure from what I thought our lives would look like, but I’m so glad we had open minds. My kids win every day growing up with their sibling.
The “Guys” are doing ok. We are mostly surviving the holiday stress and trauma anniversary of them moving into our family 4 years ago. Simon is struggling a bit with some very big feelings. He confessed yesterday that he doesn’t really like to be reminded he is adopted and doesn’t really want to see Sheila. So hard to know where the balance is between acknowledging/celebrating their roots and respecting their journey. He has a deep seeded fear that we will kick him out that is just soul crushing to me as a Mom.
The hormones are kicking in for the rest of the crew also. Smiley graduated from speech this week and we closed out her IEP. We are trying to get Sarah an IEP due to the struggles she had at the beginning of the year, mostly out of concern for next year and middle school. We had a bit of a stumble at Thanksgiving but seem to have recovered and maybe moved forward a bit. Stella is thriving and we are starting to see some very age appropriate behavior so I guess that’s good.
As we head into 2018, I wish all of you the peace you need. I pray that you get to enjoy some of the holiday or get to make some positive memories because sometimes that’s all trauma and the system allow.
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