Through this wonderful blog-o-sphere I have been able to connect with some local women who share the hills and valleys of parenting traumatized children through adoption, foster care, and guardianship.
I was fortunate to get to meet with some of them on Sunday. It was great to know I'm not alone in real life. It was great to be able to hug another Mom who "gets it". Who wasn't going to tell me all kids "act like that" or try to urge me to "try IVF" as if it was a new nail polish color. These were strong women who have been battered at times, just like me. These are women who have cried buckets of tears and fought long, hard battles for their kids.
And I was able to share where I'm at, without tears. Without getting choked up and without feeling phony. My intro to the one Mom I had not previously met went something like this:
I'm a foster parent. We had 4 kids who had been with us for 2 + years who were returned home in April. We are supporting them post re-unification and figuring out what that is supposed to look like. Meanwhile, we are waiting for our forever kids to find us.
And I impressed myself with how far I've come!
One of the Moms asked me how I would feel if God's plan was simply for me to be that support role in several families lives. It was a really good question. My quick answer was, that very well could be what's in store for us. We'll have to see.
Could I be that support? I'm sure of it. I'm learning how to be suggestive without being overbearing. To assist but not meddle. To be concerned but not too judgmental. But would I want that to be it? My answer would have to be no.
One of the Moms said, "I don't know how you did it with four! You are a saint! All that noise!" Ahh. I LOVE the noise. I miss the noise the most!
So here is my wish for those of you reading: I wish you find the support you need. From your faith, your family, your friends, or the community. I wish that the blog-o-sphere allows you to find extra support especially when it is needed.