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Thursday, December 13, 2012

Overnight Visits

Oh my. Was I heated at midnight last night. I saw the email the caseworker sent about her plan for overnight visits. Can you guys when she thinks is the optimal time to start them?

Yep. The Sunday leading into Christmas Eve. It's the holiday after all and the children should spend some time with their Mom. She knows we might have plans on Christmas Eve so she can have the service drop them off wherever we will be at. Then she asked me for my thoughts.

My response back was not kind. It was not calm. And at this point I don't care. The idea that they want to rush this and not have a solid plan in place makes me so angry and the fact that she didn't consider how anxious the holiday makes the kids anyway and then wants to add the stress of the first overnight to it mystifies me.

But have no fear- we'll drop them off in whatever condition they might be in at your family function? What about behavior? What about their response. What if Mom totally fails and it ruins Christmas? Where is their chance to decompress after that? What about the judge's request to take it slow an plan this out while listening to the kids? How do you go from 5 hour visits with the kids still having issues and fear to 24 hour visits on a major holiday that stresses most adults out to begin with.

Just further confirmation that this person truly does not look at it from the kids perspective. She honestly had a meeting and though: wouldn't it be great for them to wake up and spend Christmas Eve with their Mom who they haven't lived with in 2 1/2 years. I bet that will just make their day. I bet everything will go perfect and we will be able to move them home soon.

I told her if they wanted to plan a regular visit Christmas Eve that that was fine and that I felt it was appropriate. But the rest of my email used words like horrific, terrible, shocked, and set up for failure.

2 comments:

  1. Christmas is so emotionally charged for lots of people, let alone confused and hurt children. The idea of starting overnights around Christmas Eve, is RIDICULOUS!

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  2. I've got nothing I can say about this post that I'm willing to put out on the internet because most of the time I try not to swear in public. It seems the powers that be in your case know NOTHING about children!!!
    I'm completely beside myself here. Oh how I wish these kids had an advocate IN The System. They are beating you up so bad and all you're trying to do is hold it together and help these kids.
    I'm so, so sorry!!!

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