What doesn't kill you makes you stronger.

Jelly Bean has been struggling for the last few weeks. I really feel this is due to an increase in time spent with her Mom. Her medication that was working wonders seemingly stopped working. And the meltdowns and tantrums began to become frequent Agian. Last weekend she made a statement about wishing she was dead. We got her calmed down and Monday she seemed fine. Tuesday the attitude returned and she threw a tantrum because she was afraid she wasn't going to see her therapist because I was talking to her. Wednesday I got a phone call from the principal that she bit a kid during reading class.

That night I was taking Gabby to see the psychiatrist to be evaluated for anxiety. It's the same doctor so I asked if JB could be seen since she was struggling. The doctor asked her if she felt like hurting anyone and she said herself. The doctor asked her how and she said a knife. And with that a call was made to the hospital next door and we were sent.

We saw two admissions evaluators who spoke to two psychiatrists. At one point partial inpatient was mentioned but it was decided full inpatient was the path we would be on. Some 5 1/2 hours later I wa s leaving her. She cried and cried when she figured out she wasn't going home. Telling me over and over she was going to miss me. That she didn't mean what she said.

If she wast serious on any level this will be a really hard way to learn about the boy who cried wolf. If she was we did the right thing and she's getting the help she needs.

The facility is specifically fo children and it's he only one in the state. I feel fortunate that it's only 20 minutes away from our house. They let Jelly Bean participate in out meeting yesterday about her treatment plan. They believe this may be a ton of anxiety and what to figure that out. She will be there at least a week, probably more. Her caseworker asked if her Mom could come see her if she provided a supervisor. The psychiatrist told her no. This would not be in her best interest. We need to gt her more stable. I asked if it was still ok for us to come and he said absolutely. I asked her if she needed anything and she said "I just need you."

Her sisters did not take any of this well. They are scared they are never going to see her. It reminds them of the 9 months they were separated. Everyone they love leaves or is taken away. Little Mama cried all day Thursday and when leaving her visit with her Mom Friday. She came home and cried and for the first time I can remember shared difficult feelings right when she had them.

Somehow I managed to get both of them to stop crying. It involved a lot of silliness and everyone sitting in an oversized chair all piled on top of me. Truth be told I needed them too. They weren't ready for bed so we watched A Christmas Story with hot chocolate and Marshmallows. I tucked them into Jelly Beans bed. I have a feeling they will both sleep there until she comes home. They even left the light that they fight about on in her honor.