As the Mom I always hoped to be, I'm a total failure. I'm notoriously late with the tooth fairy payments and this past week I told the one kiddo that maybe the tooth fairy didn't come because she knew she was going to have 4 cavities. Fun snacks of ant on a log- ha! Go get some carrots and put them in a ziplock because I have no idea where the lid is to the reusable container.
And while my kids do tolerate the dressing alike (for now), none of those outfits were hand made. And while I've thrown together some decent felt costumes, none of my children have the memory quilts I planned to make them (in my head).
And you know what? Also totally okay. Because I'm doing the best I can, with what I've got, on any given day.
Sometimes by the hour. Sometimes by the minute.
I took a women's studies course in college. One of the papers I wrote was on the "Evolution of the Kitchen" and how the advent of modern day appliances pushed women out of the kitchen into the work force rewarding them with new found independence and double the work as they continued to be responsible for housework and child rearing.
And as women, as moms, we judge the others and ourselves against some ideal that may not even be important to us if we stopped long enough to ponder it.
Do I really want to make my children's clothes? No. I miss being crafty but the trade off is I'm getting my Masters Degree.
Are my kids harmed by having to get their own snack? Nope. In fact, it's probably a life skill.
The best I can, with what I've got, at any given moment.
The great thing about this mantra? It can change! You can repair! You can forgive yourself for whatever transgression (real or perceived) and move on. It's applicable to others too!
Who else is struggling with guilt about not feeling like you are doing enough or the "right way"? Leave it in the comments and walk away from it!
This.
ReplyDeleteI always feel guilty about SOMEthing with my kids. I can actually be a "Pinterest mom" because I only have the one kid right now - when I had two, there was no way. Since being crafty actually is important to me, we've decided to spread our kids waaaay out and wait until our current (Geordi) is able to buckle himself into the car and get his own snacks before bringing another helpless human (i.e. a baby) into our home. Because when I get stressed, I get shout-y.
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