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Sunday, February 1, 2015

Simon Why Are You Crying?

I had two kids totally out of sorts today. Smiley basically woke up crying and kept going until after lunch. Simon began the water works once we went over to the new house. The meltdown was over Stella being bossy and not listening but the tears were really about moving. Being in the new house and knowing we only have a week left at our old one was definitely hard for my kid with major anxiety. He began crying when we were leaving because "he just started to play". This is not like my normally happy go lucky kid.

Stella was also stressed and reverted to her parentified behavior of being bossy and not listening to Simon. We've worked hard in therapy to give Simon a voice with his family and every once in a while we take a step backward. 

I was also not having a stellar day. Last night I had a very really panic attack about the tile we ordered being switched to a different color and I was so worked up Hubby volunteered to drive us over to the house at 10:30pm at night. I've been having anxiety pains all week and the stress took its toll in the form of losing my voice, a pinched nerve in my back and the beginning of a migraine. By the end of the day my migraine was in full force and effect and by 6pm I was in bed with a muscle relief and a cold wash cloth.

At 9pm Hubby sent the kids to bed. Each of them came in to say goodnight and Simon started crying again. I asked him why and he answered "I don't know". Then he asked if I was going to get better. I asked him if he was worried about me and he started to cry harder.  

It's rare that my kids see me down for the count. The few times I've been ill, they have been at school or I didn't share I was sick. Mom in bed at 6pm is unusual and I imagine it triggered something about Sheila. I tried to explain what a migraine was and reassured him that it would go away eventually. But how scary it must have been to this child who is trying to attach.  

As Smiley said goodnight she said "Mom I feel bad about you." For a 5 year old it was a very powerful feeling to share. I marveled at how far we've come. 

At about 11pm the combination of Aleve, caffeine, cold wash cloth, muscle relaxer and nap allowed the pain to ease up. But now I'm wide awake from the caffeine and nap! 

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