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Wednesday, May 7, 2014

Foster Care Sucks

Today, foster care sucks. It started with a call from the new case worker who also happens to be new to the profession. I seriously think we are her first case. She said something to the effect of "I need to get the visit information from you" which I heard as: "you're responsible for this information". And I did not react the best. I was in the middle of a fire drill at work and I really shouldn't have picked up the phone. I was all "that's not my responsibility and I won't let it become my responsibility" and she was all "was it something I said?".

Really I'm happy to give her my version of the facts. That's in my best interest. So I backed off, ate crow, and offered up a detailed summary this week. 

Then Sheila texted that she would be calling tonight. She also mentioned that she's taking kids to the arcade pizza place for their visit this week for Smiley's birthday and that she has a dress for her. 

Insert eye roll here.

Is there a book bio parents get that says they need to provide other clothes, shove junk food down the kids throats, and let them puke on the way home into their bag of crappy toys? 

Ok. That's not really fair. Especially because I will consider it a personal achievement if I never step foot in the video game pizza place. I get the limited resources. I get you want to take them some place fun (and the way visits at the mall are going another venue is a blessing) but I hate the hero worship that follows.

Yes while you are off getting to be "the Real Mom" once a week, I spent the last 3 1/2 hours (after my full day of work) answering nonsense questions, cooking dinner, battling homework, supervising consequences for the third night of forgotten homework, helping the clearly anxious six year old "wash his hair", soothing the kid sitting alone in her room reading goodbye letters from her last school, and calming down the disregulated/dissociating child during her shower.

Oh, and waiting for your phone call at 7pm that you informed me about at 4:30pm that didn't occur at 7. Or 7:30 or 8:00 or even 8:30. Yes that errand that you "didn't realize would take that long" was much more important that your once weekly phone call. 

Maybe it was a court mandated meeting as I also found out her court hearing last week resulted in a plea for a 2 day jail sentence, a substantial amount of community service, a fine and court supervision. Oh and no drugs or alcohol without a prescription for a year. I think this also means a probation officer but I'm not sure.

She couldn't find time for parenting classes. How the heck is she going to do community service? 

And how the heck do you not want to fight for these kids? I will never understand that part. 

Some days, foster care sucks. 

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