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Sunday, November 3, 2013

Foster Care Land

This was an interesting weekend Foster Care-wise. Friday the caseworker called me to ask if she could share my information with the other foster families that have the kids that we agreed to take.

Lets just say the transition with these two different families is going to be very, very hard. If the initial conversations we've had are any indication. And we are all going to need lots of prayers of healing and patience. And I feel really bad for the one foster mother because she would really like to be the resource for these four kids but her family  situation prevents it. And today I really feel like she took it out on me. I'm very worried about the current plan to leave the one half of the sibling group in that home to finish the school year.

On the other hand the other family with the kids who will be transitioning to our home first said, "No I don't think they should be with us for Christmas and Thanksgiving. I think they should start making those memories with their forever family."

Talk about blown away. The goal is return home. Mom has already been involved with the system 2 times. No one seems to think these kids are going home. But I'm very concerned that the other foster mom is holding on to hope that they will somehow let the two stay with her. She's sending some very mixed signals about all of it.

I get it. I really do. But she didn't want to hear that. She was offended by the empathy I was trying to put out there. I'm already frustrated and kids aren't even living with me yet.

Did I really forget how frustrating foster care could be in only 6 months? I want to shout: I did this, with 4 kids separated, with a Mom who struggled, and the same case worker. I really am not the clueless thirty something you think I am. I am not the enemy. I know it feels like I am and if you keep this up I will be, but I'm a good foster mom just like you. And I'm really sorry you can't be these girls forever Mom but that means God has a different plan.

I know she needs time. I know she is grieving. My hope was that we could help this be easier for her, but maybe that's not possible. And maybe it isn't my responsibility either.

Meanwhile, the Fab Four couldn't have been more awesome about kids moving into their old rooms. Mr. Mohawk was so excited to learn the boy will be his age he begged for a sleepover. 

In other news we got asked to speak at PRIDE training as foster parents who have worked towards a positive relationship with a birth parent. I asked LM if she had anything she'd want to make sure the almost foster parents knew and she said,"Be understanding and prepared for everything. A tantrum can happen at any time!" 

So in 7 weeks I'm going to be a full time Mom again. And in a few days I will get to meet two of the kids. And we will have a whole slew of blog names to come up with. 

Strapped back into the roller coaster...

1 comment:

  1. keep your hands and feet inside at all times and enjoy the ride!! :)