My Daughter

This week there was shift in me. I know that I am a Foster Mom. These children living with me have no other connection than this. But THIS week I caught myself not clarifying for everyone that THESE are NOT MY children. Rather I let go for one week and just lived in the moment.

At the grocery store on Monday the well meaning cashier exclaimed:
C:Are all four yours?
M: Yep
C: They are so cute! I've always wanted to have a lot of kids.
M: It keeps life interesting.

On Tuesday when asked what I was doing later:
M: It's my daughter's birthday dinner.
O: Oh Wow how old is she?
M: 11.
O: Thats a good age.

On Wednesday at the State's Attorney's Office:
M: We will do whatever we can to make this guy accountable for what he did and we appreciate you trying to prevent unecessary trauma to our kids.

Today: I just simply missed them. And my heart broke when the little guy told me he missed his Really Mama. I cried on the phone to my Mom about how angry I am that these people have abused these kids and they aren't being held accountable to the fullest extent. The guy who caused one to have nightmares and fear hasn't spent 1 hour in jail and she will have to face him in open court if he doesn't plead out.
The woman who systematically abused them gets a 1-2 year break from motherhood and all of these support services to get them back and she's telling US that we aren't good enough from her perspective for them to live with because we don't speak HER language.

I knew that there were awful people in the world that hurt children but its different. These kids have become "my" children. And I just want to protect them. And in so many instances I can't. The law is the law. And even those these people who hurt them didn't abide by the law we have to. Because thats what we want OUR kids to learn.