We watched the documentary Twinsters tonight. It was shown on Freeform this week but it's also on Netflix. The documentary is about two women who look identical that find eachother on the Internet. They also happen to share the same birthday and are both adopted from Korea.
It was a really interesting story. Beyond the whole "how small is the world" aspect, the documentary does a good job highlighting how people experience adoption differently. One of the women, Sam, feels really positive about her adoption. The other woman, Anais, is very angry about it.
It's worth the watch.
I shared with Sarah and Stella that I had watched the movie. As we head to finalization, I want them to understand more fully that others may experience adoption differently, or even they themselves, may have different reactions over time. With four kids each of them are bound to have different thoughts on adoption being a positive or negative life experience.
My first reaction when learning that these girls were separated and presented as only children at different adoption agencies was anger. Maybe that's because I'm all about keeping the siblings together (when it's safe). Sarah had the same reaction. Actually she cried. "Mom that's so sad! How could they do that to them!?" I mean like real, ugly cry tears. And she didn't even see any of the documentary!
I may not have birthed her but she is on the same wavelength as me most of the time.
I went on to explain that my point wasn't to make her cry, especially since the women didn't seem to feel cheated, rather they felt their lives were fuller. My point was to help them understand that even twin sisters have different reactions and experiences regarding adoption.
The twins go to an adoptee conference in Korea and visit their former foster Moms and their "mother country". I imagine one day taking my kids on such a journey to the state where their family is from. So important to support my kids as they try to sort through all of these complex emotions.