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Sunday, December 15, 2013

Grrrrr

So this week I was the target of another adults emotions. I don't enjoy that role. In my personal life if that happens one time too many, I just avoid you. In this instance though, I can't avoid that person for a few weeks.

One of the foster moms of the kids is having a really tough time with the decision her family made to 1) not take all 4 kids 2) have them move sooner than later. And while I am glad that she came to the decision to move them sooner than later to my home, I'm really tired of hearing "we would have gotten there eventually" "I really wish we could have taken all 4" "had you not come along" and variations on that theme.

Now, I get that she is grieving. If you've been reading my Blog you have an understanding of how hard I grieved this past year. But I did not take that grief out on the mom my kids were going to. I did not lash out at her and tell to stop pushing me into letting them go too soon. I did not try to take them away from spending holidays and birthdays together (I did make a stink about an overnight visit starting on Christmas but the judge agreed and I suggested they just have a long visit that day instead.). I did not learn of a family celebration and demand that the kids be late to it.

This person has said I've made plans and extended invitations, when in fact, I did not. I'm not sure if she's trying to convince herself, or convince me she's not heartless, or what but she went so far as to tell me she could have filed an appeal to keep the kids but she believes this is best for them.

Seriously, it's exhausting keeping up with the up and down. And I really bit my lip because I came very close to telling her, no way on Earth would you have won that appeal. You've had the kids less than 6 months, don't meet the cultural requirements for the kids, and are not willing to take their siblings even though you've been asked time and time again.

I don't have time for her bullying and I can't be responsible for her emotions. If you have to keep apologizing to me for your behavior then perhaps it's time to evaluate how you are acting. You can't ignore someone in person and then call them up the next day and act like their best friend. And she's not even the bio parent. I refuse to put up with it from another foster parent.

But if she can't land in one space where she can at least suck it up an pretend that I'm an ok person to spend time with for the sake of the kids, we are really going to have to evaluate if a continued relationship is the best for everyone. 

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