Over the Edge

I joke with the kids Tuesday therapists (two of them come to the house) that one day I'm going to write a book about this experience and I come up with new titles for this book all the time. This week I named it Pushed Over the Edge. Because this is how I feel. In the last week or two I have been pushed, poked, pulled, and pinned to the edge of reason, patience, common sense and my limit.

I have been asked to go against every hope and wish in my heart and help the woman who hurt these kids that call me Mom in order to HELP her get them back. And I did what was asked of me. And then I turned around and listened to one of the very same children accuse me of not caring or loving them for 8 hours as she tantrumed and acted out, threw things, and bruised her sister. Then I woke up and did it the next day. And while all I wanted to do was cry I instead laughed about it.

The Tuesday therapists asked for a shout out in my book. Anonymous of course. I told them I'd call them Night and Day (because despite their partnership they are totally different). So until I a) find the time to write a book and b) get a resolution to our situation the following will have to do:

To Day And Night thank you for everything. The late night texts helping us through the drama, the cheerleading for alone time with each other, the laughter, tears, and goosebumps while we tried to untangle the web of trauma and issues between this family. Thank you for always making us feel like we were doing a great job and that the state of our house was "normal". One day well get that drink and let it all hang loose.