Reset

So here is the interesting thing: If you were able to wipe the slate clean on your path in life what would you do? What would you keep and what would you never want to do again if you got to "reset" your life?

This is the question we are now asking ourselves as we prepare to let the children go in our hearts. Do we foster again? Do we only look for children who are legally free for adoption? Do we take a break and focus on our careers for a little while? Do we take advantage of having no responsibilities and live it up? We started this process to build a family. And in a few months we will likely be childless again.

Right now we are just going to let life happen but it's an interesting to ponder. If I had no kids- how would I occupy what is left of my day?

We want to travel so when they return home we will be booking a nice vacation just the two of us. No family members. No friends. A second honeymoon of sorts. Hubby and I have learned so much about each other an communicate so much better that I think we might enjoy a trip more than we did then.

I'm also looking forward to getting in shape. Hitting the gym and focusing on making healthy changes. Including sleep. I got a text from a friend the other day: "Good Lord woman when do you sleep?" Saturday mornings I get up with the kids to send them to their visit. I'm very much looking forward to sleeping in next weekend.

This is hard and sad but its a necessary part of foster care. It's the purpose. And at the end we'll be able to say we helped keep a family intact. We helped kids heal and we have given them tools to use the rest of their lives. And we learned what it was to love, really love. And know what the sound of giggles does to your soul. If I could bottle that up I would.