Love Should be Multiplied Not Divided

So when I can put down some cohesive thoughts I'll go into my theories about why this all happened. Regardless of the why - we now have all FOUR siblings in this sibling set. My foster kid's older sisters came to live with us last night. With 4 hours notice. I saw all the pieces come together - the bunk beds we had purchased the day before. The constant discussion about what if the girls needed to move? The capacity of 6 people for our hotel room for our trip to Disney. (Which was originally for my sister in law and her boyfriend's kids but they broke up.)(AND YES WE ARE STILL GOING)And so when at 3 pm yesterday the kids case worker called and told me their current foster parents gave notice that they wanted them moved by that night we were able to come to a decision.

I'll admit - I'm terrified. We as rookie parents, are now outnumbered 2 to 1. We went from a family of 2 to a family of 6 in a matter of 4 months. And as much as I'm sure that this is the right thing for these kids that I'm committed to - I worry we won't be enough for them to heal. All I know is my Mama Bear instinct kicked in and they were coming to live with us. I know we will pay for this decision in behaviors and tears and hard work. But I also know we will be rewarded in laughter and fun and love.

And of course it scared my little guy in a big way. He cried as he brushed his teeth last night that he missed his sisters (who were downstairs) and I knew that he was scared they would be gone in the morning. Because how is an almost 4 year old supposed to understand why his sisters are here but not his "really, real Mom"? And as I kissed the oldest goodnight I could see the fear in her eyes as well. Fear that she would be moved again. Fear that her siblings would be split again. Fear that we won't love her. And I looked her in the eyes and begged her silently to hear my heart and told her that everything was going to be O.K. That this was the right thing for them. And as tears welled in her eyes she nodded and then I saw her whole body relax.

And that was enough for me. I'm sure very few people save other foster parents understand this decision but at this point I. DONT. CARE. So do us all a favor and don't tell me you think I'm crazy because I now have four kids and did not get even that many hours of sleep last night and you don't want to set me off :)

Bedding

After our Session 5 PRIDE class on Saturday we decided to take a ride to Bed Bath and Beyond to cash in some gift certificates and get the bedding for the bunk beds. I think this was worse than trying to register for our wedding!

I loved Bed Bath and Beyond for our wedding. They had pretty much everything we needed and they were great with returns and shipping and even price matching (savy consumer here got all 12 Lenox Soup Bowls free by threatening to return all 12 place settings of our china if they did not price match - and they were shipped free THANK YOU VERY MUCH.) But something happens to my Honey when he gets in that store. My Dad calls it Mall-itus. You start to get tired. You get a headache and after a little while you just can't take it anymore and the only cure is to leave the store and get fresh air. So to prevent this I suggested we go to lunch before going - and we ended up at Hooters. (Yes I will go into Hooters. In fact I like their food better than other wing places by us. Which interestingly enough my Brother thinks I'm crazy for this preference.)

I had done some research prior to going into the store. Looking on-line for some decor ideas and what the store might have and I fell in love with this monkey sheet set with bright lime and turqoise on it. So of course we go in the store and we went up the wrong side and my Honey was distracted by the coffee pod selection and the clearance fixtures. So by the time we got to the bedding I already knew we were going to be in trouble.

Our first mistake was going to the smaller BB&B in our area as the selection was BEYOND limited. No monkey design. In fact pretty much no design for little boys at all. They had 2 sets of sports themed converters. Thats it. Everything else was very girlie or for college kids. Do little boys not have rooms? Can they not have cool bedding? To say that I was frustrated was an understatement.

But then the struggle for my Honey to understand the decorating vision that was in my head began and when he finally got it he said my color scheme was too girlie. Apparently lime green is not a color for boys. He became fixated on the costs of course and wanted this reversible comforter that had 2 different plaids. So after about an hour in the bedding section debating the colors I ended up caving on the comforter with a promise that once we adopt the kids could get what they wanted even if it is lime green.

PS - has anyone tried to make a bunk bed up before? I was sweating when I was finally done!

Well our first visit went well. I don't know why I was so worried. Well OK I do....My home was being judged, my competency was being judged, our ability to be good parents was being judged on a 1st impression. And I HATE that. But CW was really nice and laid back and she came in. Looked over our paperwork. Looked at the house and then told us our room was big enough for 3 kids.



And somehow in the course of an hour we redefined what we were willing to foster and it became 0-13 and any gender. As lately they have had sets of 3 siblings come into care. So now its hurry up an wait. Well that and somehow furnish a room for the unknown. Could someone please tell me how to do that? Right now we are looking for bunk beds. Is it better to buy a less expensive frame from Ikea or go all out and get a substantial set at 10 times the cost? I think we are going to go with less expensive but it feels like throwing money away. We shopped all day saturday looking at different places trying to get an idea. It is now August. We need to get something in place for October. And I'd prefer a room that wasn't thrown together. (This is something I feel about the majority of our house EXCEPT our basement which is beautiful.)

So after all of this my husband and I told my Mom about our plan. And she took it much better than I thought she would. She had some concerns mainly about the issues the children may come with but told me she understood our reasoning behind our decision. And while she wasn't over joyed about the news she wasn't negative about it either. She even confessed to wanting to adopt children from Romania at one point. I guess I've always had the dream of a big family in common with my Mom. My Mom told my Dad and his big concern was cultural differences and babysitting. We made plans to see my husbands parents next weekend. I'm not sure what they will say. My father in law has been bugging us about kids for a while so I'm hoping he'll be our champion in all of this.