Years ago I spent Thursday nights at choir practice. For 6 years I spent every 7-9 pm in a freezing cold church with people I loved singing my heart out. There was a time were I spent Thursday nights working late at a law firm and cramming for tests and finishing up papers. When I finished college and went back to get my paralegal degree I spent 7-9:30 studying legal writing and litigation.
tonight we normally would Have the trauma therapist who works with the oldest two girls. We've done some attachment therapy and lots of processing. She cancelled tonight. But we still had processing. In fact we had a trauma trigger tonight that we spent 40 minutes trying to get a child pulled back into reality and realize she was safe.
It was heartbreaking. In one movement of the hand to try and comfort the child we managed to trigger the fear of being sexually molested. I watch a normally affectionate happy child back away and cower and then cry because she was so afraid to tell us what she was scared of because she didn't want to hurt our feelings.
OUR FEELINGS!?!? Oh sweetie pie. No one has let you be a child and so therefor you don't know it's not your JOB to worry about our feelings. That's the job of parents. Parents who love you. Who want to protect you. Who did a good job of staying calm and parenting you through this evening with calmness and love.
And that is just a glimps into our Thursday night.
Home is where your story begins. Welcome to my home. This blog is about a family formed through foster care adoption as we navigate parenting children with early childhood trauma, open adoption, and the child welfare system.
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